Dear YOU are my personal blog that offers a window to my innermost thoughts, emotions, and experiences. The blog is aptly titled, as it serves as a virtual diary where I can record all of my unspoken words. Through this, I will share my journey of s...
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I did it again. I sent you a message begging you to change your mind. Am I pathetic? Now, I still can't believe that this is happening. even my body can't cope with the situation. My body is shaking. My knees are too shaky to stand. I can't even have a proper meal because I can't feel hungry. I sent you multiple messages telling you that it's okay, that I can accept everything, that you can be with her, just please don't live me. You can even live together, and you don't have to be with me, just don't live me behind completely.
Even at this moment, my hands are too weak to type. But the pain in my heart is too much that I have to let it out. Before I go to bed, it's you I think about. It will always end with me crying myself out trying to justify everything. Why do you have to live me? What did I do wrong? How can I change your mind? Is this really the end? Till my eyes will dry out, only then, I can fall asleep. With the tears still running down my face. Wishing and praying, that when I wake up in the morning, everything is just a dream. Nightmare or night, I don't care, just let it be a dream. If it's not a dream, then please don't wake me up. For I know, when I wake up in the morning, everything will be just the same. The pain will still be there. It will be more intense and excruciating. Every day will be a battle for me without any chance of winning.
Is it really that hard to change your mind? Was it so easy for you to ignore me and move on without me? Am I not relevant to you anymore? Is the 10 years meant nothing to you? I tried to shake it off, I even tried to convince myself that you were just joking. But every time I message you, your responses are too cold that it was all too obvious. I know how to read between the lines, but I am also good at pretending that this is not happening. This is not real. It can't be real right?
Please, let it all be just a dream. Please tell me that you are just pulling a prank on me. Please, I beg of you. I really cannot take this anymore.
