6. guilty calls

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The rays of the sun, which seemed to burn my eyelids, woke me up from my sweet sleep. Is it morning already?

I slowly opened my eyes. The bright light cut into them, so I immediately wanted to close it again. But I managed not to.

Phew, the taste in my mouth was unpleasant, I was hungry and my head was pounding. I'm not used to these kinda mornings anymore.

I felt the white, high quality cotton sheets hug my body smoothly. Then I realized that someone's hand was wrapped around my waist. I slowly turned my head and then reality hit me.

Evan slept peacefully, spooning me. His not-so-angelic face, as I learned earlier, relaxed. Oh my god, last night was wild.

I started to remember the whole last night and today's early morning. A lot had happened and I didn't even know what was right and what wasn't. But one thing was for sure - we had a great time together. I hoped Evan felt that way too.

I needed to pee really bad so I slowly got up from the bed, hoping I won't wake Evan up. Thankfully, he was still sleeping like a baby.

After I did my business in the bathroom I sat on the edge of a bathtub and rested my head in my hands. What should I do now? Should I stay or should I leave? I mean, I definitely didn't want to leave him, but bad thoughts haunted me.

My mind was full of guilt. My boyfriend, if I can call him like that, was still somewhere in my home country. Anyway, we were good partners back home, but me leaving the country made things a bit more complicated.

It's not clear if we are still in a relationship or not. We didn't even know if we were saying goodbye forever or just for a few months. There was the possibility that I wouldn't settle in LA and go back home after some time. But now it looked like I was going to stay. I didn't know if what Evan and I were doing counted as cheating in our situation.

I sighed out of frustration and stood up. I fixed myself in the mirror, but I couldn't do much. I brushed through my hair with the comb that was prepared by the hotel staff. It was one of those thin combs that I hate so much, because combing my messy hair is extra painful with it. Ugh.

After that I went back to the room where Evan was sleeping.  I quietly put on my provocative dress from the night before, which now looked a little slutty in the daylight, and gathered my things.

I stood in front of the bed clueless, thinking what to do.  My heart told me to stay with Evan, to take off my clothes and lay back on the soft bed with him. But my head was full of worries and regrets.

I couldn't stay.  I couldn't get any deeper into this, even though I was already up to my ears in it. The lust for Evan was huge, but I had to control myself.

I pulled out my phone and even though I knew it wasn't right, I took a picture of his cute sleep.  It was purely and solely for my purpose, to have a memory of this morning. I took a picture of him and glanced at the photo.  He looked so cute. Smile formed on my tired face.

I looked at him one last time, turned around and left.


*      *     *

As soon as I got home I hopped in a bathtub. I filled it with hot water and relaxed in it for a long time. When I got out I checked the time, it was 3:20 pm already. Phew, the time flies so fast.

I felt quite bad leaving Evan in the hotel just like that, without even saying goodbye, but at that moment it seemed like the best solution. Plus I really didn't want to catch feelings and think I can date him, because I knew those were just fake scenarios in my head that can never happen.

I went to my room and laid on a bed. I rubbed my face with my hands, when suddenly my phone beeped. I checked the notification, it was Andy. Yeah, my ex-boyfriend.

"Hi, you ready for the call?" he texted me.

Oh my god, I almost forgot. Yesterday before work I promised him we would facetime and I'd tell him how was the job at the party. Oh well.

I really wasn't in a mood for that, especially after what happened. But I didn't want him to be sad or disappointed.

" Yeah sure" I replied. He called me in a moment.

"Hello Sophie, how are you?" he asked me, with his usual expression, which was something of a serious look with a hint of a smile on his face.

I forced a smile, "I'm fine, I just woke up a while ago." I lied. " And how are you? What's up?"

" You know, work as always, everything is okay." he said with a bored look on his face. He was lying on our couch on his usual place, where he always lied. As I remembered the moments we spent there together, my chest felt heavy. As if a stone had fallen there.

I nodded my head," That's good."

"But you tell me what you were up to yesterday. I was a little worried when I didn't see a message from you in the morning. You always send me a text when you get home, you know..." you could hear from his voice he still cared about me.

"Ummm.. Yeah," I stuttered,"Sorry. It was a little crazy yesterday. I had to leave a little earlier because some guy was bothering me there and it was annoying." I started to explain," so I probably won't even get the money."I looked to the ground.

He laughed a little wryly and irritated," Soph... I don't even want to know. Thank God I wasn't there, cause you know how he would end up." I knew it irritated him a little. He was worried about me. I was quiet.

" I'm sorry. But I think you won't lose the money... Even so, if something happens, you know that I can send you some money at any time." he glanced at me with his blue eyes. It made me feel guilty again.

"It's alright I guess, I've got some for now and I hope it stays that way,"I laughed," but thank you. You are still so kind to me." a sad smile spilled across my face.

We talked for a while, about nothing important, not even about our relationship. During the rest of the call I tried to look happy, so he wouldn't get suspicious. I hope it worked.

When we ended the call, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. It had to be Sharon.

" Heyy," she opened the door, she didn't even wait for my permission," so how was the work yesterday?"

Oh no. Another person I'll have to tell the story to. I decided not to tell her about Evan. I didn't know if I wanted her to know now. I told her what happened.

"And you have another shift today?"she asked with an honest smile after listening to my story and commenting on it accordingly.

"Well, actually, I don't know." she caught me by surprise. "" I don't think so. But I guess I'll go and ask my boss about the money. At least to know if he'll pay me or not."

Shar agreed with me. We also discussed her work, while she sat next to me on the bed. Then she went back to her room and I started getting ready to see my boss.

God, I just hope the incident won't cost me my job. I'd be really fucked.

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