Where She's Gone, Only She Knows

Ch. 2 Underland, Tuesday

Tsuki : They Never Listened

"Can I show you something? You can't tell anyone."

Haruna nods.

Tsuki stands, taking Haruna's hand in hers to pull her outside. The tents don't do much to keep the chill out, but they do enough. The night air sends a shiver down Tsuki's spine. Their fire is still smoking, the last little pieces of wood holding onto every last bit of warmth. The moon is bright over their heads. Tsuki looks up at it. She's always found comfort in the night, the darkness and solitude. She closes her eyes.

It's always there, wriggling around in her chest like a worm. She picks it out from the dirt and lets it roam the world. A fuzzy warmth begins to spread into her fingertips and ears. The world around her falls away one tree, one owl, one cricket at a time until all that's left is a light behind her eyes.

It pulls her.

Haruna lets out a gasp, squeezing Tsuki's hand tighter. She doesn't open her eyes. She needs to pull a little harder. She sees their streets, worn and gray, ready for the company of her tightly buckled mary janes to bring their delightfully curious click-clack. She sees their moon, a vibrant yellow with the biggest craters she's ever seen. So close she could run her fingers across the surface just to feel those bumps for herself.

She is welcomed in.

Finally she opens her eyes. A tree just five feet in front of them is glowing, a slit down the center burning bright, hot, and white, the edges a golden haze fading into the night that surrounds them. Tsuki pulls Haruna in with her.

Her friend doesn't resist.

The pool is right where Tsuki left it. Drowning in purple blooms, glowing in the light of the moon. The water is crystalline: clear and glittering with every gentle wave from the light breeze. Haruna breaks away from Tsuki's hand to explore on her own.

She slips.

The water rocks and crashes against the reeds and rocks ringing the edge. Haruna is gasping, arms flailing, trying to grab hold of Tsuki's hand. She can't reach far enough. Her shoes begin to slip against the muddy bank of the pond. She steps back, regains her footing. Holds tight to a reed, reaches out again.

Haruna sheiks. Cut off, reduced to bubbles, fingertips disappearing under the surface. She's going to drown. She can't breathe. Tsuki can't breathe.

Tsuki's eyes shoot open, hand flying to her chest, finding her breath with deep sighs in and out. She looks to her window. The blinds are closed but there's a gap at the bottom where they don't extend far enough. The sun has begun to rise, no point in going back to sleep. Not that she would get much more rest anyway. Tsuki rolls her head back straight, looking up at her ceiling; she likes to draw pictures with the speckled popcorn paint as a welcome distraction. Tonight they show her the shape of Haruna. Thick bangs covering her eyebrows and long black hair falling down her back, looking over her shoulder at Tsuki with the most trust in the world. And Tsuki stepped on that trust like it was just another weed struggling to grow between cracks in the concrete.

☆

As much as Tsuki used to love solitude, now she finds it unnerving. The school is empty. Its too similar to that night. Too quiet, too much space. Sometimes Tsuki wonders what would happen if she was able to save Haruna. Would she still want to be Tsuki's friend after all this? She would probably have to get committed with all that trauma. Tsuki wouldn't want to be friends with herself if she was in Haruna's shoes. She ruined Haruna's life.