I Wasn't Worth Changing For

Change

"I don't know why I even tried." Macaque glared at the ground as he left, not fled, the Waterfall Cave. He pointedly ignored the sound of small feet following him. He stormed over to the edge of the cliff face and flung a half eaten peach into the forest with a snarl. The pissed off simian watched it vanish into the foliage below. When he heard it hit the ground with a splat all the anger drained out of him.

He dropped into a crouch, arms crossed. The tired warrior rested his chin on his arms and stared out into the stars. His tail curled around his ankles. Quiet footsteps stopped a short distance behind the dark monkey. "You should have stayed with MK, Pipsqueak." Despite his words the small girl started moving forward, a determined expression on her face. Bai He pulled on her guardian's arms until he sighed and held them open for her. She jumped into his lap, sending him flat on his ass right into the wet grass. "Careful, Kiddo!" He scolded the young girl. She ignored him, opting to press her back to his front and join him in gazing at the night sky.

After a moment passed she spoke. "Why are you so angry at Monkey King?" Macaque's tail flicked.

He looked down at his ward and sighed. "A long time ago he... hurt me. Very badly.  I was just trying to help. He did not like that." He released a hollow chuckle. "I got angry and took it too far. I can see that now. At the time I was blinded by rage at the supposed injustice against my friend. I didn't think he'd turn his temper on me." His voice went quiet. "He's never even apologized." 

Bai He considered his words. "He hurt you even though you were friends? And he never said sorry?" Her voice was incredulous. 

Macaque recalled countless days spent running through the jungles of Flower Fruit Mountain laughing, nights spent curled together under the stars, telling stories and grooming orange and black fur, kisses pressed to hundreds of freckles and against six glowing ears. He swallowed. "Yeah." His rough whisper caused her to hug his arms. His heart warmed at her attempt at comfort.

"That doesn't seem like the Monkey King. He's so..." Her hands made a senseless gesture.

"Nice?" He guessed, snorting. Bai He shook her head.

"Awkward!"

Macaque threw back his head and laughed. After a moment Bai He's quiet giggles joined in. Eventually he calmed down and looked at his still giggling student. "Please say that to his face, Pipsqueak. Have Mei take a picture when you do." With another chuckled he removed her hair tie. His tail wrapped around her waist in an attempt to keep her still. "You need to start remembering to take the tie out when the monkeys start to mess with your hair." He scolded, brushing out the tangles and random debris she had gathered. Her hair was long enough that it went everywhere and got everything stuck in it. 

"I forgot! They are so cute!" She protested, puffing out her cheeks. "So Monkey King is a bad friend?" 

"You aren't letting that go, huh?" He sighed. "The Monkey King you know and the Wukong I knew are very different."

"Isn't that good? That he changed? Maybe he's a better friend now!" The dark furred monkey's hands stilled.

"I guess." He pushed the words out. They felt thick and fake, like artificial syrup. 

"Then why does it make you sad?" He forced his hands to move even as his face fell. 

"It's complicated. Well, no it isn't." He struggled to find a way to explain. How does one condense hundreds of years of history in a child appropriate manner? "Not when you really look at it, but it feels complicated and it's... difficult to say. Painful, really." Bai He hummed and started fiddling with his tail, picking the dirt out of it. 

"Are you sad that he only acts angry at you? He's either nice or quiet around everyone else." 

Macaque huffed, tickling her sides. "You sure are curious tonight." His gaze went back to the sky, hands running absentmindedly through her hair. "Kind of. It's more than that. He is so different from when we were young, but in many painful ways just the same. He told me he was on that stupid journey to repent and become a better person. Then he k-hurt me. All he had been doing was repressing his anger until it exploded. I didn't see him for a very long time after that. And when I did?" A strangled laugh escaped from his throat. The sound tired and bitter. "He hadn't changed. I was convinced that he just couldn't, maybe I just bring out the worse in him." He mused, sounding more heartbroken than he intended. "Then he started training MK."