We Never Learn.

Moving In

It sucks, having to move and all. Ever since I was a young girl I always moved, it seemed like every few years we moved to a new city, a new state, a new everything. But after a while we finally settled down in a little town called Westselville. It was a nice town, a town that was very close to being a city but just a bit too small to be one.

Many of my "firsts" happened at Westselville, I got my first crush after years of thinking I didn't like anybody and would never like somebody, I got some of my first friends, and that's pretty much it. But after a while I grew out of the little bit of elementary I had left, I drudged through the few years of middle school, and, finally, I was set "free" and graduated out of high school. So again came the time to move out, to start moving away again, to become the young girl I had buried in the piles of work and therapy. It was earth shattering to leave the life I had finally gotten used to and the dreams I had built behind again but at least I was fulfilling a few goals.

🔲 Move out of my parents house.
🔲 Move into a place with friends (if possible).
🔲 Get a cat.
🔲 Get a lover (in my dreams at this point).
🔲 Get my dream job.
🔲 The list goes on.

So I was a bit comforted when my friends, Maria, Greyson, and Aimée, got their families oks to let us all move in together when we were out of college. But that's where the comfort stopped. Sadly, Greyson and Aimée had colleges very far away from mine so we wouldn't see each other for what would inevitably seem to be forever. They both planned to only use their breaks to visit family which is a given since they both had loving families who, in someway, helped pay for their colleges and for them in general. Meanwhile Maria decided to go to a nearby college around Westselville that had a high reputation.

        But I didn't go to one near any of them, I decided the best college for me was an art school all the way in Meington.

It was scary, going back to one of my first houses that was almost on the opposite side of what seemed like the world for me from Westselville. It felt like I was becoming her again. But with a twist, I would be going back to where I was, not farther and farther away.

I didn't have my friends again and I already knew that even though we had promised to call and keep up with each other we truly wouldn't be able to do that until we met up in person, if we even did that. I bet my depression would get in the way, Greyson's parents would get in her way, Aimée would focus on college completely, and Maria, well, I wouldn't wanna bring her down more than I feel like I do with all my friends. I don't even know if they are my friends, which is why I cried on my bed for hours when I was packing. I feared the same thing would happen like it did before.

That I would leave and in turn so would they, forever.
Was that how my old friends saw me when I was moving away too?