𝐕𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬━𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐫

iii. state of grace

violent delights

chapter three

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞

━━━━﹏˓°°˒﹏━━━━

One word came to mind to describe the Capitol.

Shiny.

Tall, glimmering buildings dotted the skyline, and the fancy furnishings and decorations overwhelmed me.

This morning started for me way earlier than I would have liked. The gravity of my situation weighed more heavily on me than the day before. I woke up at almost 4:00 in the morning, sweaty and twisted up in unfamiliar silk sheets. My heart was beating rapidly from some nightmare I couldn't recall.

With only a few hours of sleep under my belt, I ended up in the shower in the connected bathroom. It was there, under the steaming fall of water, that I allowed myself to crumble even the tiniest bit. Silent tears cascaded down my cheeks and mingled with the water. I watched as they tumbled down the silver drain and disappeared.

After they had dried up and I was only sniffing a bit, I let myself enjoy the warmth for a moment longer before making my way back to the bedroom. I picked something to wear out of the fully stocked drawers and then paced the room. To distract myself, I wondered how this must be for Finnick and the other victors. Focusing on someone else's heartache was easier than facing the dread permanently constricting my chest. I couldn't comprehend how they could bear spending so much time with so many children, getting to know them, just to wave them off once it was time.

Sabine stopped by my room at six o'clock to tell me breakfast was going to be served in thirty minutes and that we'd be arriving in the Capitol around seven. Breakfast was a silent affair, with only the occasional comment from Clay or Hector. I hadn't been able to speak to Finnick since my conversation with him in the shadows of the lounge car. A whirlwind of activity was happening around me, and all I could do was let myself be pulled every which way.

I had been handed off to my prep team some time ago, and they were still busy with the seemingly extensive work. Even though it felt like they'd been at it a long time.

"Sorry." Eris, a short but striking woman with white hair cropped short, apologized as she tore a waxing strip from my leg. "This is the last one, though." She grinned, and her septum piercing glinted in the harsh overhead light. The final strip was yanked free as Ezra, a man with pupils that had been surgically altered to a slitted form, brought over containers of scrubs and other care items that I'd never heard of.

After the first hour, I had gotten used to being naked in front of them, and I started to feel more at ease. Eris and I make small talk since she's more approachable than Ezra.

After my body is scrubbed down with sweet-smelling lotion and I'm waxed and polished to their hearts' desire, they step back to examine their work.

"I suppose she's presentable now," Ezra says. "We should get Elphane."

They leave the room. Eris wishes me luck as she goes, and I think Ezra offers me a small smile. It means a lot more to me than I thought it would. I didn't think I'd care so much about whether Capitol people liked me or not.

I pull the thin paper robe around my shoulders and wait for my stylist to arrive. I look at the cold white floors and walls and suppress a shiver. This robe does nothing to aid the chill. Maybe that's the point.

I hope my stylist isn't too intimidating. I hope she's more like Eris than Ezra. I hope she doesn't make me wear something too ridiculous. I know that's the last thing I should be concerned with right now, but worrying about my outfit is easier than letting in the fact that this is the beginning of it all. The beginning of my death march.