In Between 1

In Between One Moment and the Next

Clary finished breakfast and went to find Jace. They had just had the most amazing night, finally together, and able to share their bodies, as well as their hearts. After the terror and upheaval of the last few weeks, it finally felt safe to rest, though the respite was only temporary. With the Twinning Rune still on her right shoulder, Clary knew that any rest would be deceptive, and that the hunted feeling she felt constantly shadowing her would not disappear until the rune was gone, and Jonathan defeated.

After waking together, Jace had suggested they take the day and do something together, something "normal" and she was so looking forward to spending some time with him. She still hadn't got used to this beautiful boy who had inexplicably fallen in love with her. The vulnerability in his gaze when he looked at her, twinned with the flippant arrogance with which he greeted everyone else, cracked her heart a little every time. She smiled a little to herself as she remembered the night before, so happy that they were finally together. Together they could face anything.

As she left the dining hall of the Institute, she wondered where she should look first, then figured she would look in the training rooms. While he had left to plan their day, she knew that he wouldn't feel right in his skin until he had worked out, so she went there. On the way there, she heard his voice speaking softly, and that of his Parabatai, Alec, as he replied. As she drew nearer, she realized that Jace's voice was not as full of the lightness of the morning, but sounded thick and shaky, as though he was troubled in some way. Immediately feeling protective of her Jace, she entered the room to see him already standing and leaving through the other door, not seeing her.

"Alec, is he okay? What was that all about?" she asked.

"Clary," he said with a sign. "Hey." He hesitated. "Look, Jace is my brother, my parabatai, I don't want to share anything he might not want me to, but..."

"What is it? You're scaring me, Alec. Is he okay?"

"Just, give him time, Clary. It's been...difficult. He's not been...himself...and now that you're back...". He signed heavily. "I can't talk about this," then surprising her, he stood up and gave her a quick, fierce hug. "I, we, are so glad you're back."

Surprised, she hugged him back, feeling his tall frame looming over her, somehow thinner than she had remembered. These people, who had become her family so quickly, had struggled over the last while, fought...something. She understood that, while she had fought and struggled to escape Jonathan, that they had undergone their own battles and carried their own scars.

Giving him one last squeeze, Clary left, walking back toward her rooms, needing some quiet to think. She hoped that, whatever had happened, Jace could use the support and love of his brother to work through it. She knew he had been through a lot, though they hadn't spoken of it. Their relationship felt so new, so precious, she wasn't sure how to broach the surface to what lay beneath. It was clear he had suffered, but he had not spoken of what he remembered of his time as the Owl, nor had he had time to tell her how he, Luke, and Alec had come to find her in Paris.

Changing her mind, she went to find Izzy, finding her in the weapons room, working on her computer as she catalogued and maintained the weaponry that the Shadowhunters used everyday. "Hey, Izzy," she said, entering the room.

"Hi," said Izzy, coming around the desk to give her a hug. "I still can't believe you're back, it is so, so good to see you. How are you doing since yesterday?" she asked, referring to their latest attempt to remove the twinning rune from Clary's shoulder.

"I'm okay," Clary sighed, frustrated. "I try to be philosophical about it. I know we will find a way, don't we always? But I have that it's there, that he's always there, waiting. I'm trying to be strong about it, though. I am so glad to be back with you all. With Jace," she said softly, looking down, blushing. "We..." She hesitated, smiling softly, but didn't continue. It felt too special, yet. She felt silly, knowing Jace's reputation, his "book club", knowing that she might be the only one who was carrying around the small joy of their previous night close in her heart. She knew he loved her, was worried about being imperfect for her, and yet she felt a little insecure about the whole thing.