"i'm so nervous!" thomas said as he paced back and forth quickly in the living room.
"its okay. just calm down. you're so ridiculous." mihno said, walking up to thomas and taking hold of his shoulders.
"yeah dude, you'll be fine." chuck added, figiting uncomfortably in his suit. thomas sighed in response.
"its just- what if something goes wrong?" thomas asked, with a wide-eyed expression, eyebrows knit.
"jesus christ, stop worrying, would ya?" minho rolled his eyes.
"we've told you a million times, thomas. its going to be perfectly okay. chill." chuck said. "can we get going now?"
"chuck's right, wouldn't wanna be late. huh, thomas?" minho said with a smirk, walking towards the door of his apartment and grabbing a set of keys. thomas trailed nervously behind him, chuck following.
"it'll be okay, thomas, i promise." minho reminded thomas with a genuine expression as they climbed into his car.
they arrived at their destination within minutes, thomas' anxiousness building in his stomach as each second passed by. friends, family, distant relatives and strangers alike, were already outside the vicinity, waiting. some cheered and clapped for thomas as he walked by them worriedly and playing with his tie. he tried to smile and wave at some people. he walked into the large building, his, minho's, and chuck's footsteps echoing against the marble floors as they walked past the multiple sets of pews.
they reached the altar of the building, taking their positions. thomas continued to nervously figiting, while minho and chuck stood calmly on either side of him.
thomas didn't feel real, per say. something wasn't right but he couldn't quite place a finger on it. things felt a little fuzzy, yet so vivid. it was weird he decided, as he pushed the feeling to the back of his mind.
this was meant to be the biggest moment of his life, he needed to focus.
"where's newt? he should be here by now." thomas said looking towards minho.
"shut up lover boy, your groom-to-be should be here any minute." minho replied. the concerend look in thomas' eyes made him sigh. "its alright, thomas. he'll be here, i promise." minho said softly.
thomas nodded and turned to look forward down the empty aisle, where people seemed to fill every bit of space otherwise. he thought the sound of his heart racing could be heard and echoed throughout the church.
"he's here!" a somewhat familiar voice yelled, as everyone begun to quiet down, and thomas broke into a grin.
the cheesy wedding music begun to play as newt walked down the aisle, looking directly at thomas. thomas thought the blond looked quite fit in the suit, even with his unkept hair. his heart was beat faster, even though he didn't think that was possible. newt seemed a bit... paler than usual. thomas decided to think nothing of it.
newt walked up to thomas, with their faces close, to lean into a kiss. "i love you." newt said with his eyes distant. thomas placed his hand on the side of newts head. their lips were pressed together and time seemed frozen.
suddenly, thomas felt something warm and liquidy on his fingers. he ended the kiss and looked at his hand to find blood staining his palm and fingers.
"what?" he murmerd as he turned to look at newt.
newt fell to the ground, and suddenly they weren't in the church in the church anymore. minho and chuck were gone, as were all the wedding guests. everything was silent. it was just him and newt and the stone, cold floor. thomas felt something heavy in his hand. he glances to see the gun clenched between his fingers.
it was him. he shot newt.
"please, tommy. please." the words echoed over and over in his head. he fell to his knees beside newt.
"no, no, no. newt please. you've gotta stay. i love you. i swear i can fix it." thomas said quickly, his voice and body trembling. everything was moving too quickly.
newt lay dead before thomas.
"it's you, newt, it's always going to be you, i promise." thomas choked out.
---
thomas opened his eyes quickly and jolted underneath his covers. he was breathing heavily and he felt far too hot and sticky for his liking. it was dark around him as he heard cars and a lively city beneath him.
it was just a dream, he thought.
he sat up in his bed with an uneasy feeling.
"newt?" he said quietly, cowardly almost. no reply.
he looked to the opposite side of his bed. it was empty.
he became aware of reality.
he was there, alone, in his apartment. his bed was empty, as it always had been.
he figured he would've gotten used to the nightmare, having it occur most nights. but every time, it felt so real, and every time he woke up hit him harder than the last.
newt had been dead for six years and no ammount of dreaming was going to change that.
the heaviest feeling sunk thomas' heart into his stomach. he found it hard to breathe.
he laid down once again, and faced his body towards the empty half of his bed. everything seemed eerie and quiet and dark. he clenched the pillow beside him as tears begun to soften his vision and he took a shaky breath.
"i love you, newt. so much."
