CHANGES.

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- 5 Months Later -


I had sat laughing, looking into my phone on Shys' couch, the girls were all back from college for the summer and I had taken off from work for a couple of weeks since once I had left Florida, I had turned into a certified workaholic. I had also stopped talking to Jahseh, maybe that was a way for me to cope. Work was going phenomenally though, and I was proud of myself every day for how much I had grown into an adult. I had only ever imagined being financially free and having this much fun while doing it, at such a young age.

I was doing amazing, I wasn't even thinking about Jahseh, even though he was hard to avoid since he was everywhere. He had since revealed himself as the "XXXTENTACION" character once he released the video for his song "Moonlight", the first song I had ever seen him record. He had ended up going on tours and became one of the most anticipated headliners for the Rolling Loud Music Festival which was one of the biggest music fests in America, safe to say, he was doing damn good.

I was kinda hurt at first since he had made no extra effort into trying to contact me the night I pulled off and left him at the studio, but I got over it as the money I was getting from working began to distract me from the unsolicited heartbreak.

"So have you heard from Jahseh?" Shy asked as she handed me a glass filled to the top with a strong-smelling, sweet pink liquid.

"Nah..not really. Not at all actually." I said as I took a sip, cringing from the strongness of the drink.

"You don't feel any type of way though, you don't miss him?" Asked Alexis, I shook my head no. I mean, there wasn't anything to miss. The closest we have ever been was a hug and that kiss.

There was nothing that he had done that made me fiend for him, I missed his presence, his energy, and our talks, but, he wasn't ready for a relationship and I didn't want to get in the way of him living his life.

"Shit. Ain't nothin' for her to miss, I think you did the right thing by letting him go..he was being a fucking weirdo." Said Ginger as she rolled her eyes looking back at the TV. I chuckled as the girls went back to talking, I decided I'd go onto his instagram as a wave of nostalgia hit

me.

I began to type in his rap name and a verified page that had over 19 million followers popped up. He had only 2 pictures up and was only following 4 people. Ski, his mother, his manager, and his brother.

my mouth went into a smug look as he seemed to be doing damn good at his rap career. I hadn't gotten around to hearing any of his newer or older music, but I knew for a fact he was popular if the followers didn't already show it.

The man had hella streams, and he had over 300 million views on damn near all of his songs released through YouTube. My finger wavered over the blue follow button on Instagram before I just put my pride to the side and pressed down on it, I mean he was probably getting millions of followers per minute, he wouldn't even notice me.

I turned my phone off quickly and placed it faced down on the coffee table engaging back into the conversation that was going on between the girls. I don't know why this wave of anxiety came over me, but, for some reason, I no longer felt control over my body, when did doing anything like this ever make me this nervous?

"I want some waffle house lowkey.." Alexis had said.

"I agree. That sounds like a grand idea." Shy said as Ginger nodded, placing her phone down. Alexis got up and grabbed her purse and her keys.

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