I fucking miss you, you have no idea of how much I want to be with you. You did me so bad and even though my brain is always telling me you're not worthy, my heart screams to get you back. I know we will never work out again. I can't believe everything that was build in 2 years was ruined in less than a week. Yes, less than a fucking week. We didn't even lasted a week as boyfriend and girlfriend, but had other things going on before making it "official". I don't know how to explain everything I feel. I want to cry my soul out and scream but I can't. Last time I saw you was this summer. And trust me I had a lot of emotions going on. Part of me looked at you with disgust and hate. But the other part of me wanted to run up to you and beg you to come back to me. Believe it or not after all this shit I still want you and it's more than obvious. I know you know it. But why don't you do anything about it? Why can't you tell me you want me too? Or just say you don't want me so I can finally move on!! I've wrote so many books, letters and everything I can write on about you. And it's always the same thing. What have you done to me? Why am I feeling this way towards you? Why am I the only one suffering?? You've seen like you're doing so well and everything is fine with you. When I texted you a few months ago and I told you how I "felt" you apologized and said you didn't mean to make me feel that way. But you didn't sound sincere. You also said you had a girlfriend. But is it true? You said you guys been together for a year. But why haven't you post anything about her? I don't know what to do!! You know what's funny? The other night as I was praying, I talked to god about how I feel about you. I wanted to cry and let it all out, but my sister was with me. And I don't want her to know about you. I prayed and ask god to please bring you back to me. I know that's so dumb but only god knows what I'm feeling. I promised to do better if you came back. But if you come back I want things to be right this time. I don't want any fights of forcing things like last time. Just please don't hurt me again. I love you.
Dec. 15, 2022 11:37pm
