Kian's Letter

Dear Kian

(If you play the song sleeping at last by turning page it makes it more effective and kinda describes how I feel about you but if you can't that's fine)
I know for sure over my whole lifetime I'm never going to get to meet you and your my biggest role model. So since I didn't get to meet you (since I live in Michigan) but one of my amazing friends got to meet Sam she is giving him this letter to give to you and I really hope you read it. I know you hate this I'm so sorry, to start please follow me on Twitter @perky_14 I love you so much. Okay now that that's out of the way. It's been a few weeks now.. I'm still waiting for you guys to come back on the channel and be like guys were just kidding... But I'm waiting for a day that will never come. Most nights I cry myself to sleep going back and watching your first videos and your last. I can't help it I need more closure, I need you, I need o2l. You are my life savers and will always be, you taught me so many things and that's how I got most of my personality today, in my life I have all of you guys with me, your a part of me. You will never be forgotten by me, people think it's silly like "oh your crying over a YouTube group that ended... Your stupid that's dumb!" But it's hard when I really love you and then one day your just gone. You vanish out of my life like nothing happened. You will always be my second family, my second life. No matter what happens, no matter how famous you and jc get to how low some of the others will. No one will ever be forgotten or left out you were here for me when I needed you so I will be there to return the favor. I will always be someone that loves you guys so deeply and passionately, that's me, I will always be here and I am beyond proud to be a part of the family. So thank you for being my family and letting us join yours, it really means a lot. Thank you for the great laughs, sad moments and letting us cry with you through rough times. You have truly made a wonderful bond everyone will always love you, please don't ever change who you are because the real you is beautiful and perfect to us. ❤️ You deserve all the happiness in the world and I can only give you a small part of it. I love seeing you happy and hearing your laugh it makes me day 10x better. Whatever your happy with I'm happy with too even if it means your crazy blonde hair. Thank you for all the amazing memories and journeys I have gotten to take with you through lawlorff, rickian, jian and I hate to say it but... Kiandrea (I'm so sorry I had to bring that up) you have so many amazing people in your life that love and support you. You taught me who I'm meant to be and with sam you taught me the word true friendship, you have a friend you have been through thick and thin with and have made your dream come true together and not most people get to do that, you only find someone like that once in a lifetime please never stop hanging out and being friends. Also congratulations on kian and jc project with going on world tour and I can tell you guys are going to be so successful and make all of us proud! You probably have so much amazing stuff in store for us and I can't wait. Even though I'm happy for you in a way I'm sad, it's going to make it hard for you to ever notice me and I doubt you ever will. Now ever girl won't be say who's kian lawley? They will be saying he's mine I've known him first. And I don't know how you feel about that, I mean I'm happy your getting more fans and more famous but to us first kian girls that hurts, that they are basically taking you away from us and we don't even get to say goodbye. But I'm so extremely proud of you guys words can't describe how much. Even if something good or bad happens I will always be here to love and support you guys, I promise. You guys continue to bring a huge smile across my face and tears at the right time but... I never get to see you in person. I never get to feel your warm hugs. I never get to see your perfect smile, you may not think its perfect but to me it is. I never get to hear your laugh in person and that really hurts because I want to hear it so badly. I will always love you, I will always support you, I will always cry with you, I will always laugh with you, I will travel an amazing adventure with you. Recently you tweeted that you liked girls with brown hair and brown eyes, I maybe have blonde hair and blue eyes I hope you can love me just the same. You may never follow me on Twitter and I will never get a cute fan tweet from you but I know you care about all your fans. I may be crying as I write this but there not all sad tears, there also happy tears. When I'm old and have kids and we're looking through old stuff from my child hood and my daughter or son pulls out a sweatshirt and a tee shirt and they ask who's o2l? And this kian person? I will say he was my first Internet love and they were amazing people even though they didn't know me, they were beautiful people who cared so much about others. They helped me get to you and your father and I will be forever grateful to them for that. They brought light to a world that wasn't light, it just needed alittle something and that's what they gave the world, they gave it there all and changed the world forever. By this time you will probably have posted your last YouTube video and I will go watch it in my room and will start cry and my husband will come in and comfort me. Thank you for showing me an amazing path and being such an amazing idol to me, I want to be like you, not being judged for just being you and have the world love you for who you truly are. Thank you kian, thank you for making me feel special in all your videos and always feel loved by someone. It means so much to know that someone like you could love a fan like me. Through ever easy and rough decision you have to make I will be here, though all the ups and downs, good and bad relationship. I will always be there even if I'm not physically there, I'm there mentally giving you a little push to never give up, to keep going. People say in the end everything turns out fine because it does, if things aren't fine it's not the end. I didn't want this is turn into a sad letter it was suppose to be happy just like o2l ending but I just wanted to say thank you for everything. If there was a world without you I wouldn't want to live in it, not a single second.
Love, Jessica Perkins
P.s. If you read this all I love you cause it was super long, you probably get better letters and I'm sorry I tried my best sense I'm never going to talk to you again, I gave it my all and I'm really hoping you read this cause it took forever to make. I really hope you like this letter too. I love you, goodbye.