In the News

22 4 11

by deframj22

by deframj22

"Look here, Hon," Alex said to his wife, Wendy, as he pointed to the computer screen. "According to a story in the BBC, humans may have had sex with Neanderthals."

"Big deal. My sister has been married to a low life Neanderthal for five years. How is that newsworthy?"

"Ha, ha. Very funny. But they're talking about real Neanderthals from 29 thousand years ago."

"So, nothing's changed since the stone age. I guess my sister wasn't the first one to get stuck with a moron."

"Alright, alright, enough about your sister. The article reads: In 1998, the skeleton of a 29,000-year-old child was discovered in the Lapedo valley in Portugal. The child had early modern human and Neanderthal features, such as the chin and lower arms of a modern human, but the jaw and build of a Neanderthal. Researchers believe that the child's anatomy was the result of a mixed Neandertal-early modern human ancestry."*

"So, what you're saying is, if we were alive 29 thousand years ago, the child could be my niece or nephew."

"Uh, I'm not sure how you made that connection, but if that's how you want to interpret it..."

"You know I'm joking. But, seriously, that must have been a huge deal, even way back then. Wouldn't that be like us having sex with chimpanzees?"

"Well, I hardly think..."

"I mean, I think they're just darling animals, and they're so cute! I wouldn't mind having one for a pet, but REALLY!"

"I don't think that's a very fair analogy. There's a huge difference between people and chimpanzees."

"What about a gorilla?"

"You mean the 'gorilla' my dreams?"

"Oh, so now it's okay for you to be a comedian. Besides, I've heard that one before."

"I don't know, Dear. That's a hopeless choice - to be sexually humiliated by a chimp or crushed by its giant cousin. It makes a good argument for celibacy. Which makes me ask the question - Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would two different species have intercourse? Weren't there enough of their own kind available?"

"Yeah. I guess they were either pretty hard up or real kinky."

"Or maybe the human self-identified as a Neanderthal."

"Or the Neanderthal thought it was more advanced and wanted to be human."

"Well, it certainly poses a lot of questions. And according to the video, many expert archeologists and scientists are examining loads of evidence in order to figure it out."

"But when you really stop and think about it for a moment, I mean, think about the odds. Interbreeding would have had to have been relatively common. What are the chances that they would find the only 'half-breed' of the sort, pardon the expression, after almost 30 thousand years?"

"That's true. The archeologist in the video made the same observation. He said the chances of finding the only evidentiary example of interbreeding would be like finding life on another planet."

"You know, it's funny you should mention that. There's another story in the news today about UFO sightings."

* https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p0f8khzt/lapedo-child-a-neanderthal-modern-human-hybrid-