Shadow Of The Past | Ongoing

29| "Blue butterflies"

I put on a pair of comfy shorts and a white of the shoulder t-shirt and black shorts.

I put my hair up into a messy bun, taking some pieces out.

I opened up an empty closet in the room and empty canvas' and paint brushes with paint stored inside.

I brought them yesterday. I wanted to try out painting again after not doing it for years.

As well as J'm kinda having mixed feelings so I need some way to take them out and express them.

I took what I needed and headed downstairs leaving Amara in the room while she slept.

When I made it outside I sat down under an oak tree facing the beautiful view of the beach.

Nala and Milo laying down next to me just watching my every movement

Before I open the paint I took a pencil and sketched out a rough sketch of a butterfly.

Most of the painting I had were butterflies.

Butterflies have such a big and special meaning to me.

Not only because they are my favoirite insect, are beautiful but, because butterlies especifically the blue and white ones because when my mother died a blue butterfly showed up and sat on my hand.

After my father passed away a white and blue one came along and flew around me.

So after they passed away I was in my creative era and started looking into painting.

For some people they would journal about their feelings, but for me painting was a way to express my feelings and paint soemthing that expressed the way I felt.

Sometimes you find it hard to write something down in word, so I used my creativity to express it because I always had trouble explaining how I felt.

I struggled in saying how I felt because the way I felt was too hard and deep to describe.

Wheather it was a good feeling or bad feeling.

I was done with a sketch of a butterfly that was trapped in a bottle.

Most of my paintings have a meaning behind it.

Like this one symbolizes how you get stuck and struggle to find your way out of certain situations.

______