What You Don't Know

Every Sunday

I tapped my finger against the soundboard in front of me and pretended that Nick's presence didn't send my hormones spiraling. It's not that Scotty never kissed me, he just never kissed me like that.

Nick faced the front of the chapel, pretending to pay attention.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. As soon as I stepped into the sound booth, late of course, he scanned my disheveled appearance and then went back to testing the mics.

Not even a "Good morning."

Rude.

Halfway through the sermon, he set his cup down, full of who knows what, and turned to me.

"How was your night?"

You've got to be kidding me.

"Could have been better, honestly." I adjusted the hem of my skirt so it laid just above my knees. I knew his kind, hot-and-heavy one second and then painfully indifferent the next.

Well, two could play at that game.

Nick raised his eyebrows. "That's a first."

I huffed. "I doubt that."

He smiled as if I was amusing him. "I'm sorry to hear that."

I didn't respond. What else was there to say? I cheated—well not really—on my boyfriend for a greasy, emotionally unavailable drummer boy. Being forced to share the same air with him for the foreseeable future was only the cherry on top of the shit pie.

I stared at the pastor, barely focusing on the words flying out of his mouth. Our family pew, in the front row, sat empty.

As always.

"Why not just tell me you're not interested?" I asked, sick of beating around the bush.

"Not interested?" Nick frowned, "What makes you think I wasn't interested?"

"I don't know, maybe the silent treatment." Or vague questions about how my night was.

Nick nodded as if mulling over my words. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to be cordial. You see, I was interested in you. That isn't a lie. But, I'm not interested in dating someone already in a relationship."

My eyes widened. How did he-

"My mother told me. Unfortunately for the both of us, her rambling actually came in handy for once."

I sat there, numb,

"Apparently, you've had a boyfriend for years. You just didn't tell me about him before you stuck your tongue down my throat."

Dumbfounded,

Busted.

I half-expected a cameraman to come bursting out of the cabinets, claiming that I was the latest star of a reality TV show based on catching our society's most sleazy cheaters in the act.

Is this who I am? I was a girl scout for God's sake. I mean, my mom did buy all my cookies, but someone had to.

"I can explain."

"I don't want an explanation, Fiona. I just want to get through the next few weeks and that's it."

I stared at him.

The humor had evaporated from his eyes. He was serious.

I was dead to him.

"I can't even tell you what's going on?"