How do I feel right now?

Prologue

' ' - thoughts
" " - speaking

_____________

She was shaking.

Tears ran down from her face as she shakily looked at her hands.

She was shocked.

She couldn't believe it. She didn't know she could even do it to herself.

She inhaled shakily, processing what she had done.

She knew she was desperate, but she didn't think she would do this early.

She leaned against the bathroom wall and slowly sat in the floor.

She curled up and quietly sobbed.

It was obvious that she wasn't going back to normal. Not after this

In fact,

It might even get worse.

She felt guilty, angry at her self. Why? Why would she do this? Oh how ungrateful and selfish she was for doing this to herself after what her parents had done for her.

'This is a phase, this is just a phase' she thought to herself, as an attempt to calm herself. 'You are only 14 dammit. Too young to this bullishit.' she hated this. She hated herself.

'Doing this will only make you more of burden than you already are, Ailyn.' She gripped her hand tight to her arms as she began to stand up.

She washed herself again and made sure her eyes returned to normal until finally finishing and putting her clothes.

She walked to her room, and laid down on her bed, not caring about her wet hair.

She knew that this wasn't gonna be the first time.

And she is right.

This wasn't gonna be the first suicide
attempt.