Running The Past

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"I know Hyung... he told me." 

the silence was deafening. 

Soobin looked at Kai with what seemed to be a mixture of shock, regret, and guilt. while the other had held on for as long as he could before eventually giving into the pressure in his yet to be fully recovered legs, and he tilts sideways, leaning his weight on the chair beside him. 

Soobin stood in place, not sure whether he has the right to help the young boy or not. whether their brothership still stays intact. to be completely honest. Soobin was never quite sure of that. he wanted to believe that past mistake deserve to be forgiven, and that they deserve.... no, that he deservers a second chance.

but looking at Kai now, he's not even sure if he would forgive himself.

the air was thick, when Soobin had decided to guide the younger to a more proper seat, seeing how he struggled keeping on both feet, there was no choice but to make contact with him. something weighed down his heart, knowing that after this conversation, there would be a possibility of Kai hating him. or even worse, resent him, for what he couldn't have done in the past.

no, no.... He's, he's trying. he's always trying... to make up for his mistakes.

but it never seems to be enough, does it?

it's never enough.

"who- who told you...?" Soobin finally masters up the courage to ask, looking at Kai figure that is seating, almost sinking into the soft looking chair in front of him. even then, in the conversation that Soobin had hoped would never come, he's still looking out for the younger. eyes jumping here and there to make sure he isn't cold, in pain.... that he is okay.

at least on of them should be.

"Him.." 

that's all Kai says, before quieting down again. him, the one who should not be named. him who destroyed his soul, over and over again. him who should stay where he's belong, down in the dark void where Kai had burried his memories.

"Kai, I can, I can explain.. oh god- listen.." he puts a warm hand on Kai thigh, and something in him breaks when he feels the younger move away. Soobin immediately let's go, clenching his hand, looking at it as if it's the one to blame for everything.

"He read me your file..." the younger speaks quietly, timid. as if not wanting to speak at all. it reminds Soobin of Kai very first couple of days with them. 

"Human trafficking" Kai says, and his voice is wavering with hurt as he looks in his once, trusted Hyung. "How could you?" he asks, new tears flashing in his eyes. those damn eyes, that knew nothing but hurt and darkness, before he met those 4 boys.

was it all just a lie..?

"Soobin Hyung.." the young boy whimpers, saying the name in a whisper, having only so much power to do so. ".. help Hyung......" he pleads.

he hears a laugh, or rather yet. an evil chuckle. one that tells Kai he should've been quieter. should've kept his mouth shut.

but it hurts too much. too much for him to bare. so he turns to the only source of safety he knows. the first person his delirious mind can think of. 

"what did you say?" an amused, angry undertone voice replies. a sound of a metal chair getting dragged across the floor follows, making a high pitched screech that no one seems to hear but him. but it piercing his ears, too loud. he turns his head to where the sound comes from, hoping for it to stop, when eventually, it halts.

"they've really left you in the dark, haven't they?" the voice teases, as if enjoying Kai's confusion.

left who in the dark? what is he talking about?

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