is it love? #scaramouche

goodbye world

no one ever approached you. you'd try to strike up conversations with your classmates, but without fail, they'd make up an excuse and scurry away.

scaramouche was the only one who didn't hate you. no matter what, he was always by your side, comforting you after many more failed friendship attempts. what would you ever do without him? you needed his presence to even feel alive.

after all, isn't being invisible just like being dead?

———

"kazuha seems nice, maybe he won't avoid me." you mumbled under your breath. you could barely hear yourself, but scaramouche's head immediately snapped to look at you.

"what did you just say?" for the briefest moment, he looked... angry. and his tone was off too, a specific tone you only heard whenever you mentioned someone else.

you stopped in your tracks before grinning.

"i was just thinking that we should get ice cream after school!" smile a little wider. you didn't notice anything. you didn't see his eyes. no, you can't see his eyes.

scaramouche bit down on his lip before nodding his head, ruffling your hair a little. "i'm craving strawberry."

his hands were warm. g̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶m̶e ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶m̶e̶

———

was scaramouche gone? you checked your surroundings dozens of times, and not even a strand of his hair was around. he was probably gone, for now.

you were silently sitting in the janitor's closet, waiting for five knocks on the door. two slow, three fast.

soon, you heard the signal. pushing a heavy box away from the door, you had second thoughts. if scaramouche knew, he might ditch you like everyone else...

"filthy liar", he'd say.
"traitor", you'd think.

you could only stare blankly as kazuha walked through the door, mind clouded with relentless onslaughts of words.

kazuha gazed into your eyes, but you didn't look back.

he broke the silence with a small cough. "(y/n), why did you ask me to meet you here? in such a secretive way too?"

your train of thought came to an abrupt stop. kazuha tilted his head just a little to the left, waiting for you to respond.

"at first, i honestly just wanted to be your friend. but now i think i—" your voice was barely above a whisper now "—need some advice."

"i'll try to help you to the best of my ability." he smiled softly. scaramouche's smile flashed in your mind. you had to be quick. scaramouche was probably already searching for you, ready to grab some ice cream.

"it's about my friend, scaramouche. he's acting kind of strange. but i must be imagining it!"

your heart seemed to accelerate a thousand times faster now, and every passing sound outside rang in your ears. kazuha was calling out to you, holding your shoulders, but you couldn't hear a word he was saying. from the corner of your eye, you saw the door slowly creak open.

you managed to force out a single word before everything blacked out.

"sorry."

———

the dim light of the janitor's closet was blurry. when your vision cleared, you were greeted by the sight of scaramouche. gently stroking your face, this sudden display of affection nearly made you jolt away.

you swivelled your head around the room. kazuha was gone. just like the wind, your help was gone.

his smile dropped once he noticed that you weren't looking at him.

"looking for something? or rather, someone?"

a chill ran down your spine, and you instinctively knew that you had to run. oh, but it was all futile, for what could you do all tied up?

he laughed at you, twirling a razor-sharp knife between his slender fingers. a bloody, razor-sharp knife. as if to torment you even more, he gazed at you with heart-eyes, saying, "i got blood on your face! whoa, it really adds to your precious beauty. you just look gorgeous dripping in his blood."

tears welled up in your eyes, and though you wanted to scream, your voice seemed to have evaporated. on the contrary, your guilt would never float away for the rest of your life.

"why are you doing this? why me?"

he played with a lock of your hair as he spoke. "you're the only one who cared about me. you're the only one who wanted to be my friend. you're the only human in this world full of trash. you're just soooo perfect! how could i not adore you?"

you felt like throwing up. you just wanted to be his friend, yet things got so twisted they had snapped.

"but you keep running away from me. stop trying to talk to everyone else. i should be the only one for you. they just want to use you, hurt you, and throw you aside. why can't you see?"

silence enveloped the room. you knew he was lying, but for a moment it felt like the truth. scaramouche smiled and reached into his pocket.

"i can't let them steal you away from me. sorry, but i'm just protecting you from all the worthless bugs." he wrapped a cloth over your mouth and your vision darkened with your hope.

no one was going to save you.