You were my yesterday

EPİSODE 1

Today was the first month of the day he lost Mercan. It had been a month since he had buried the woman he loved. Moreover, Sinan had not even confessed his love to her yet. Mercan was his friend. He was his friend for years, until Sinan had different feelings for him. The slightest movement of the girl made Sinan's heart move. Sinan was used to laughing with her and crying with her.

Mercan had taught him to love. To love life, to love nature, to love flowers. Because Mercan loved life very much. He also made Sinan love it. Sinan loved to live thanks to Mercan.

Now that lively girl who loved to live lay under this ground. Isn't it strange? Mercan, who made Sinan love to live, left him behind. Mercan was gone, but Sinan was still alive. He was at her grave every day. He would come there and tell Mercan about the events he experienced

He did the same today. He was out of school and on his way to the cemetery. He was standing next to her now.

"Don't go, Mercan," he said, grabbing the ground. But he knew it was too late. It had been exactly a month since the Mercan had left him. How Sinan had begged God to see his dream. However, all his pleas and rebellions were left unanswered. There was no longer a life for him to live. The person who took Sinan out of death and gave him life was gone. He had no life to turn to, he was ready to spend the rest of his years by this tombstone.

"Honey, they still talk about you at school. Even Cansu, who doesn't love you and gossips behind your back every day, suddenly loves you. Death is a strange thing, isn't it? People who don't appreciate you while you're alive claim to care about you when you die. She made you very sad. You are still kind hearted.. you forgave her. But I cannot forgive. I remember the day she made fun of your freckles. You cried a lot for this, remember? And I told you that freckles look great on you. Mercan, get up now," he sniffed and wiped the tears that were flowing. He didn't want to upset Mercan by crying. Still, he couldn't help it.

"My father came today. He apologized to my mother for what he did. Do you know that he even fell on his knees? My mother did not forgive him. I think they will never make up again. You were right, my angel. This time, my mother did not forgive that man. I will not have to hear those shouts and fights again. And when I see my father after a long time.. I need you so much, Mercan." This time, a sob escaped his throat.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't be sad that I'm crying. Just sometimes.. I wish I could be by your side and hug me. I wish I could feel your warmth again. If I could hold your hand again, if I could look into your eyes. Sometimes I see your dream. When I want to touch, it disappears. Don't be sad and don't think about me my angel. I promise you when you passed away. Remember tjat day? We were in hospital. Your blood was in my hands." He closed his eyes tightly and was silent for a while. He felt as if a knife had been stabbed in his heart when that moment came before his eyes.

"Before you took your last breath, you said to me 'live.' You said that live for me. İf ı still alive, it is just for you. Mercan, you were my first love. I can't tell you that even in your last breath. I never tell you 'ı love you'. I loved you even in the days when you told me about Emir. I loved you even when you cried for another man on my shoulder. You didn't realize it, honey, but it's okay. That didn't stop me from loving you. You gave me love and happiness, Mercan. You will always be in the best part of my heart." After sitting quietly for a while, he staggered to his feet.

"I'll be back tomorrow, sweetheart. Until then, don't be cold, cover yourself." He looked at the tombstone for the last time with a wry smile. He grabbed his bag and walked away.

Nothing could bring Mercan to him now. He knew this, but still thought that when he turned a corner, Mercan would come out. Somewhere out there, he thought that Mercan was still waiting for him. As if he was going to hug her again.