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Art is the highest form of Hope.
As if I carried my last name hope people would assume I am a walking hope, beam of sunshine, light in dark I maybe be all of this but only for them not for me.
For me I am just a boy sitting in a dark with fighing the blurring in of good and evil, sometime I feel pathetic cause I'd wish that all my darkness from my life would be gone but now I darkness accompanies me and I seem to enjoys its company, it doesn't makes me see my flaws and I hide it all behind a mask of a smile.
In the dark I could be perfect .
...
Picking up my paintbrushes which aren't less than a magic wand for me and wasting seventh canvas of the day with a sudden jerk I saw paintbrushes flying off from my hand to corner of room. Skyish walls splattered with dark splashes.
I check out all my art, all resembling one meaning Darkness some sadness, some anger, some fear and some tears. I never showed my artwork to a single soul not sure if ghost saw them, Once dad accidentally saw one of my work it was a girl between the heart of the forest hugging herself letting her demons finally come out, it was one of my favorite work but clearly he did'nt liked it, he didn't didn't said anything except 'Its good but you should try something else'.
I may smile alot but I am not foolish.
Being good doesn't make you understanding.
...
I feel like I am underwater, a dull ache through my mind, it feels like I have been poisoned and its working after hours. I feel imprisoned by my fears, by my insecurities, by my grief. I felt sadness without any cause or it maybe lie I keep telling maybe cause is bigger than sadness.
And to run away from those storming emotion I used colors, I used pencil, and a canvas, I use to mess the paper delicately but today it didn't work, Today whenever I would close my eyes her dark eyes would hunt me down except the colors I should use.
Today closing my eyes I just see Lilith's eyes...
Her name meant belonging to night. After knowing her name my lips whispered her name like prayer over and over again like as if I lost control on them, as they were casted in a spell, just to see how her name will sound from my lips.
I looked all over internet cause my head would hurt without knowing more about her,
But things she will tell me by her own, will be only things I want to know.
Plastering a smile I let my emotion summon me but only from inside.
...
The city looks like neacklace of pearls
All shiny, all bright, all Alive.
The greenhouse got perfect view of the city, the only place where I come without arguing dad, the only place where guards does'nt follow me behind but sit on a stool.
I inspect each plants with an blazing emotions cause plants never meant plants to me they were an emotion for me,
