Lan Sya Mu leaned over Anshi who sat on his palette, shivering under a blanket, damp hair dripping bath water. She shook her head, she muttered under her breath,
"Damnit, not good enough."
She rose and shouted to the attendents outside the yurt, "Heat water for another bath. Now!"
Both Lan Ge Ban and Anshi raised their voices in protest. Sya Mu glared at them and ordered, "Not another word!"
'She faced down a suddenly chastened Ge Ban.
"Leave him be' you said. 'He'll get drunk a few times and work it out.' Two weeks and one slaughter later and look at him. NO! He will soak in tubs until not one whiff is alcohol oozes from his pores and when he finally looks like a Chieftain, we can be proud of, then he can leave this tent and act like one."
Anshi finally spoke. "She is right. Let her be."
He looked at her stiff back. "The one thing, however, that I will not apologize for was killing that thing."
"Who asks you for any sort of apology? Especially for that. But a Cheiftain plans carefully and revenge is something done without impulse. "
"How could you understand? He did not maim your lover."
Lan Ge Ban cried out warningly. "Anshi!"
There was silence from her. The she spoke more softly.
"No he was not. But I learned to respect and admire Minister Han. He endured a lot in his life. We spoke several times and I began to understand him before we left Quan. If I had happened on that monster. I would have done the same thing."
"Why would he speak to you? You rarely saw one another."
Sya Mu was silent once more. Lan Ge Ban shot her a worried glance.
"I asked you a question," Anshi said quietly
"He knew you were soon to be parted. He knew of my ...feelings of loyalty to you and the Lan Sect... and asked me to...watch over you. Make sure you stayed focused on your quest. One day I will have to face him and let him know that I failed miserably. But not before I try to straighten your sorry ass out."
"Lan Sya Mu, watch what you say."
"Anshi Dilnur, watch your inner self. Speak to me as a leader when I see you fill that role again. Then pick a new Captain of the Guardians and bounce me down to a common private and give me shithouse duties. I do not care."
"That is not likely to happen."
"Why?"
"Because if your new friend, Han ever heard of me doing something like that, I'd never stop getting missives reaming me out. He is loyal like that and I get enough of that scolding from you. Then he'd make me promote you to General. You will not get that satisfaction from me. Neither of you!
"Fine." She looked at Lan Ge Ban and said,"I am going to take a rest and eat a meal. Watch him, and don't listen to excuses. I better find him in that tub when I get back."
After she stalked from the tent, the two men breathed a sigh of relief. "Gods help the man she marries," stated Anshi.
Lan Ge Ban spoke sharply. "She has good reason. Do not speak like that. Your behavior was out of control."
Anshi looked startled. "Do not bother to look for sympathy from me, Anshi. We know each other too well. Lan Sya Mu is absolutely devoted to your concerns. You have had me, your Aunt and Uncle, worried sick as well. You need to sober up, and return to work. Would your Han want to see the wreck you are becoming? You came into love with the same intensity as you do everything in life, like one of your songs. And you came into it much later in life than most. First love, experienced after such intense deprivation, it had no filters or restraint. And remember. Han has to go through this separation under even worse conditions. He has been fully aware of his feelings for you since childhood. He has longed for you since he can remember. What is he going through? How is he handling it? Is he determined to turn intoe uswless and hopeless crap?"
"I... don't know what to do. How to ease this pain, Lan Ge Ban. I want to scream."
"Then scream. But go hunting and scream it to the skies. Sweat it out in training and hard work. Now that you have vented your most intense anger, let it out in less destructive ways.
And, please, depend on your friends and family. We did not disappear when you fell in love. We have always been by your side. Lean on us."
The bath was delivered and while Anshi soaked and thought, Lan Ge Ban sent word to Lan Sya Mu. 'Give us until morning. Things are starting to improve. He is calm and beginning to listen to reason again.' She sighed deeply. If truth be told such a break would be good for her. She felt depleted and sad. The anger she had worked herself into had faded quickly and she was exhausted. She fought back tears fr a few moments. There was one thing she needed to do. She opened a small box that held several dozen dark blue butterflies. And chose one.
'He has returned. Sad. Out of control. But safe. He will heal. Warning. He has taken revenge on the butcher who harmed you as a child. He was served as you were. Bled to death. Be prepared if any inquiries.' And she sent it to Han.
Then she lay down for a while, stoic and dry-eyed. Too tired to resist anymore she closed her eyes and slid into a deep sleep.
Han received the butterfly and sent one back immediately.
'Thank you. I will take precautions. Rumors will swirl but I will shut the mongers down immediately. I am shocked but it only deepens what I feel. I will protect us both from my end if need be. Thank you for your strength. He will appreciate the lengths you have gone to, one day.'
She was sound asleep when his butterfly arrived. The sun was demanding entrance to her darkened yurt and despite the venting at the top and several windows tied back to allow air in, the heat was becoming thick. She blinked her eyes and groaned in protest. She sat up and stretched then shouted for a bath to be readied in the common bathing tent and to make sure she had some privacy and breakfast waiting there for her there. She gathered a clean set of clothes then slipped her armor over her head and strapped it on, grabbing the kit that held supplies for her and her armor.
If she was going to face that emerald-eyed jerk again, she was going to look every inch a Guardian Captain. She paused and listened to Han's butterfly and felt heartened by his words of encouragement and praise. If she had been lucky enough to have been given a brother, it would have been nice if he had been like Minister Han.
She straightened her spine, took a steadying breath. and made her way to the baths.
