34| "it was killing me"

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I punch the punching bag with force and it swings back and I hit it again and again, until I couldn't

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I punch the punching bag with force and it swings back and I hit it again and again, until I couldn't.

I was furious.

Oh when I saw a picture with Connor making her laugh. When I saw his eyes looking at her lips.

I wanted to fucking kill him.

I punched it again.

To say i am jealous and angry was an underestimatement.

I was angry and jealous that she was with other men. Especially one that's part of the damn mafia and couldve killed her at any point without her even knowing.

Ever since the day I saw her, man have I been fucking needing her even more.

It was killing me.

Punch.

I needed to be with her, but it was killing me that I couldn't.

Punch.

Killing me that I couldn't hold her.

Punch.

Killing me that she couldn't be the person to sleep next to me and open my eyes to see.

Punch.

Killing me that I couldn't make her smile.

Punch.

Killing me that I couldn't do anything with my own daughter.

Punch.

Killing me that I couldn't make the two of them happy.

Punch

Killing me that I couldn't make them feel special.

Punch.

Killing me that I could look at her a certain way that showed how much I care and love her.

I haven't ever felt the need to regret a mistake I made so much.

It ruining me.

It eating me.

It killing me.

I needed her.

I needed that little girl.

I needed them both.

_____

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