August 29th, 2022
A rose can only grow for so long,
I just wish that weren't true with you too.
I am aware you have a chance,
But a forty isn't so high compared to a hundred.
I love you my darling;
I hope you stay,
If not, I understand.
This is a cruel world with cruel things.
At least I had you.
September 5th, 2023
You seem to only be getting worse my dear
The doctors keep changing their minds
I am confused and I am lost.
From forty, to fifty to three and to sixty
The doctors call out.
They call me often, near every hour
I don't know if you'll be okay.
I pray that you will.
Goodnight my forever.
December 2nd, 2023
This month feels colder than usual,
The snow feels like ice.
When I cry, my tears feel like 4th degree burns.
When I walk though the lightest of snow,
It feels as though a blizzard has came by.
I've never felt so cold.
I've never felt so alone.
Please, even for one day, rest beside me.
Stay with me.
I can't take this anymore.
The doctors said your getting worse.
Its only now they realize your true state.
Twenty percent.
It's twenty percent.
I can't do this anymore.
All I'm living off of is my dying hope.
I told them to try harder,
And it seems they are.
I love you, emerald eyed boy.
APRIL 11TH, 2024
"Calvin."
*murmured response*
"Calvin, get up, please."
*groan*
"Calvin, I need you right now, I just need you to say something, anything to me."
*murmur*
*soft sobbing*
"Calvin please."
"Calvin."
*silence*
*sigh*
"This feels so useless, but... just remember I love you."
*beeping slows down*
"I love you.. too."
*beeping stops*
"I-"
*chokes on tears*
"I- I NEED A DOCTOR, NOW!!"
*crying*
April 12th, 2024
I'm sorry, I don't think I can go on.
It's been a day since you've died and I can't stop crying.
This may not be a poem, like I promised you before but I just need to vent.
First of all Oscar seemingly snapped, however me and him are planning you're funeral but the way Oscar looks at me is... weird. He smiles and shows his teeth.
Carlos had been comforting him none stop at least, but I am near certain Carlos is happy you died, he just doesn't seem like he cared, I think he's using your death as an excuse to cuddle up to Oscar.
With Tyler? Me and him don't talk, but I still have his number so I will still invite him, probably a good time to catch up and be there for each other.
Felix actually stopped by yesterday, I didn't recognize him first, thought he was Tyler. He's actually a really sweet guy, I appreciate him.
Dylan I sometimes see when me and Oscar are planning the funeral, he grew out of his rudeness and accordingly to Oscar: began to date Felix. I would have never seen that coming.
I think I'm done poem writing, I love you however whenever I write a poem I just think of you and cry.
April 23rd 2024
