Just Say Less- You Knock Me Off Of My Feet

Chapter 8

When Nick returned to classes that Monday, he struggled to ignore the whispers and murmurs that followed him across campus, his jaw tightly clenched as he made his way to his first class; Behavioral Statistics. He took his usual seat near the front, pulling out his notebook and pencil case as well as his binder. He liked to keep things organized. As the last of the students piled into the classroom, Nick was surprised to see that no one was staring at him or seemed to be talking about him- yet.

"Nick- hey.." he heard an all too familiar voice speak up from behind him.

His blood ran cold, turning to face his ex girlfriend, his arms crossed.  "What do you want, Juniper?"

She frowned, sitting down at the empty desk beside him. "We need to talk, Nick.."

"That wasn't an invitation to sit next to me.." he snapped, his skeptical gaze looking her up and down. "Talk about what? Haven't you said enough?"

She sighed, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Can I come to your dorm later? It's personal and class is starting.."

"I really don't think that's a good-"

She leaned forward, taking his hands. "Please, Nick- let me explain.. I owe you that much." She batted her long eyelashes at him.

Nick pulled his hands away from her grasp. "Fine- Charlie has music rehearsal until 6... come by after 4:45 and we can 'talk..' " he said sourly, turning his attention towards the door just as the professor had entered, trying to shake the way his heart was pounding now, he had a bad feeling about this..

***

Nick wasn't sure he should have agreed to let Juniper come, while she did owe him an apology, he didn't think Charlie would like it if he found out about it.. So, he didn't tell him. He didn't see the need to make a big deal out of everything when they wouldn't even be seeing each-other. It would be fine, right? He was pacing his dorm, his thoughts racing a mile a minute. He didn't know what was going to happen, he could only hope it would be nothing detrimental to his mental health in any way.

A sharp knock came to the door at 5 exactly. Nick swallowed thickly, opening the door and stepping aside to allow her in. "Make this quick- Charlie doesn't need to see you after what you did.."

She sat down in Charlie's desk chair. "Relax, Nicholas- I'm here to play nice.." she began, setting her bag down beside her. "Look- what I did wasn't okay.. I shouldn't have outed you as gay, that was messed up."

Nick scoffed, leaning against the door. "That's an understatement.. you didn't even get your facts right- not to mention you not only outed me, but you ruined Charlie's reputation along with it.. he blames himself for what you did!"

She sighed, looking up at him with sad eyes. "I know.. it was a low blow.." her eyes narrowed then, crossing her arms around her chest. "Wait- you said I didn't have my facts right? So what you're not dating him? You were pretty close at that party for a platonic straight relationship, Nick.."

Nick let out a huff, his ears tinting red. "No- I mean, I am dating Charlie.. but, I'm not gay either.. I'm- im figuring it out.. I like girls, but I like guys too.. I don't really see gender as something that defines who I'm attracted to.."

She raised a brow. "So.. you're bi?" She asked, standing up, crossing the room so that she was only a few feet away from him. "I mean.. that's the only explanation, isn't it?"

He swallowed, his heart was pounding and his palms were beginning to sweat. "I- I don't know.. maybe?" He murmured, feeling overwhelmed with emotion then as he sat down in his own desk chair. Creating as much distance between them as possible. "Look, you said you're sorry, I accept your apology but it doesn't change what you did! You outed me- coming out was supposed to be my thing, something I do when I'm ready and on my own time, it was not your information to spread! So please- for the love of all that is good and holy- leave me alone.."

Juniper watched as Nick buried his face in his hands, he was shaking he was so upset. "Nick.. I really mean it when I say that im sorry.." she murmured, approaching him again with trepidation, a dangerous idea appearing in her mind then. "Let me make it up to you.."

Before Nick could look up or even register what she had said, she had sunk to her knees before him, her nails grazing along the jeans that stretched around his large thighs. He staggered back, pushing her away from himself. "What are you doing? I'm with Charlie- I like Charlie-"

Juniper had stood by then, her hand reaching out to rest agaisnt his toned chest. "Come on, Nick.. you said it yourself, you still like girls- at least let me apologize properly.. I promise you'll enjoy it." She smiled wickedly, getting to her knees again, her hands fumbling with his buttons.

Nick tried to push her away, but before he could, the door to the dorm burst open, a mortified looking Charlie stumbling into the room. Nick then staggered back completely, buttoning his jeans. "Charlie! I swear to you- this isn't what it looks like.. she came here and she-"

"Save it, Nick.." Charlie said, his voice barely a whisper. His tear rimmed eyes found Juniper's. "Get out.."

Juniper scrambled to her feet, a smirk on her lips as she grabbed her bag and practically pranced away. "Have a good night, boys.." she chimed before closing the door behind her.

"Charlie.. I swear to you- nothing happened.." Nick began, approaching him slowly, only for Charlie to hold a hand out to him to stop Nick from touching him.

"Why was she here then?" Charlie asked in a barely audible voice.

Nick felt his heart shattering, "Please- Charlie- you have to believe me.. she told me she came here to apologize, but- when I told her to get out she tried to make a pass at me.. but I swear I rejected her each time, I was about to again when you walked into the room.."

Charlie choked back on his tears, his hand flying to cover his mouth to keep the sound from escaping him. "This can't seriously be happening.." he sighed, taking off his coat and loosening his scarf to allow more air to enter his lungs. "Nick.. You do realize that I've been taking heat from all of this too right? Everyone in the halls or in class or in the canteen? They stare and whisper every time I enter a room.. did you read the comments on that post she made? About me? Why would Nicholas Nelson go gay for someone that tiny and pale? Why would Nick give up everything for the guy with a uni brow and big ears- that I'm bad for your image.. and maybe - maybe they're right.."

Nick's heart sank. "Charlie.. don't- don't say that you know it's not true.." he whispered.

"No! Nick- your life would be so much easier if I weren't in it.. you could be with Juniper and everything would come back together and be right again. You have so much going for you Nick, such amazing things that lie ahead.. I just don't think I can be a part of it without bringing you down with me.." Charlie was crying now, his lip quivering as he tried to contain the earth shattering emotions that were flooding him.

Nick couldn't hear it any longer- he crossed the room again, this time, pulling Charlie flush against his chest and wrapping his large arms around him. "Please, Charlie.. don't do this.. I've done so much to be able to be with you- and I love having you in my life.. I love liking you.. If you want to break up, I respect your decision but.. I don't want to break up- I don't want to loose you.." he hugged Charlie close, tears streaming down his own cheeks. "Please, Char- I can't loose you.. not when I've just gotten you.."

Charlie let out a shaky breath, pulling away from Nick's embrace. "I-I'm sorry, Nick.. but when we come back from fall break- I'm applying for a different roommate.."

Nick felt his heart breaking. His whole world shattering around him. "Charlie.. no- don't do this, we can work this out-"

"I'll have my dad come and help move my things.. I can't keep ruining your life, Nick.. you'll see eventually that it's just- easier this way.." Charlie sighed, grabbing his coat and keys. "I have to go.."

Nick reached for his arm. "Wait! Charlie, please- where are you going? Please stay and let's talk this out.." Nick was begging, pleading Charlie to reason with him. But it was no use.

Charlie pulled his hand back, "I'm going to the Music building.. I need some time alone." He told him, gathering his bag as well before tearing his gaze away from Nick's finally.

As the door closed behind him, Nick let out a hefty sigh, his shoulders slouching forward as the wave of emotion washed over him. He couldn't let Charlie just walk away- not after everything, he'd convince him, win him back, whatever it took.