Bedtime Stories~ ZhanYi/XianWang Fluffbook

Shy patriarch's feisty bride

YiLing Laosu in a meeting with the cultivators during SunShot campaign, casually talking about the most gruesome stuffs as if discussing tonight's dinner. His eyes suddenly land on the man sitting beside sect leader Lan and his brain goes brrrrr...

"I want him." He suddenly exclaims.

Everyone is confused about the statement made by patriarch, exchanging muddled looks.

"I want him. If you want me to kill Wen Rouhan, I want him as my husband." Patriarch says again, this time pointing in Lan Wangji's direction.

The cultivators let out strangled chicken noises upon hearing the outrageous demand, but before they could say anything, Lan Wangji gets up and bows.

"I accept."

"Wangji No!" Lan Xichen almost shouts.

'Wangji Yes!' Lan Wangji thinks.

"It is okay brother. I will be fine." He says instead.

He is finally being noticed by the patriarch who captured his heart the very first time Lan Wangji laid eyes on him and is asking for his hand in marriage?

Like hell Lan Wangji would let this opportunity go!

While everyone in the room, even the Laosu himself was shocked by his words. Nobody thought Lan Wangji, the Hanguang jun, the upright second jade would so easily give in.

Such an upright man indeed! Sacrificing his life and chastity to a barbarian for world peace!

YiLing Laosu defeats the whole Wen Army and kills Wen Rouhan the very next day.

Lan Wangji hopes that wedding would happen soon, but alas! The patriarch decides that he wants to be a gentleman and will court him!

As much as Lan Wangji likes the idea of being wooed and courted by his betrothal like a respected individual should be, he also does not mind being directly taken by this devilishly gorgeous demonic cultivator. In fact, he has often entertained the idea of Laosu having his way with him, ravishing Lan Wangji as the Lan writhes and moans under him, totally at his mercy.

But YiLing Laosu is way more gentlemanly than anyone would have thought.

He even asks Lan Wangji before holding his hand, always keeping a respectful distance between them.

Surprisingly, Lan Qiren takes a liking to his future nephew-in-law, totally ignoring his unorthodox way of cultivation.

They chat about cultivation stuff for hours after tea, leaving Lan Wangji jealous of his own uncle.

Why can't be YiLing Laosu really be like the rumors!? Hmph..

The other cultivation sects out there biting their nails, thinking about how the evil YiLing Laosu would be haunting cloud recesses. Meanwhile The said YiLing Laosu merrily playing with bunnies and juniors, drinking Tiānzǐ Xiao, chatting about cultivation with a middle aged teacher and spoiling his betrothed.

Well, The wedding finally happens and all the cultivators are present in it are shocked to witness the Lan clan happily celebrating their second jade's wedding with an evil necromancer!

They must be possessed by the Evil YiLing Laosu!

Outrageous!

But there was no trace of any sort of resentful energy in the wedding... so could it be that the evil patriarch brainwashed/ threatened the Upright Lan Clan into liking him?

TRULY OUTRAGEOUS!

But they can't do anything... The YiLing Laosu can single handedly defeat the whole cultivation world, they are the eyewitness of the proof of this theory.

Poor Lan Clan... they sacrificed themselves for the cultivation world. They will be remembered for the next thousand years!

Well, the wedding night is also something totally opposite to Lan Wangji's expectation.

He thought that finally... finally His husband would take him to bed and consummate the marriage.

Lol.

YiLing Laosu enters the bedroom, drinks wine with him, chats for a while, and goes to bed!

This is too much now!

He cannot let his new lace underrobe and favorite perfume go to waste!

Lan Wangji pokes into Laosu's shoulder, trying wake him up.

"Hmm... Yes Lan Zhan? Do you want something bunny?" Laosu asks, still half asleep.

Lwj: Why didn't you fuck me?

That was enough to fully wake Laosu.

"L-Lan Zhan! What are you saying!" The evil cultivator squeaked.

"Why didn't you consummate the marriage Wei Ying? Am I not attractive enough?" Lan Wangji asked, nose scrunched in a cute frown and lips turned into a pout.

Oh..

This is dangerous...

Wei Wuxian gulped, praying to gods to protect his sanity.

"Umm... Lan Zhan, I am not the type of spouse you wanted. S-So... I wanted to-"

"You are exactly what I want!" Lan Wangji cut him off.

Oh, his uncle would be so angry on hi for breaking the rule, but he couldn't care less.

His first priority is to get. That. D. right. Now.

Wwx was still baffled.

Yllz: Lan Zhan! I forced you into marriage!

Lwj: You asked for my hand, and I accepted.

Yllz: ...

Yllz: I am a demonic cultivator!

Lwj: But you never misuse your powers.

Yllz: Lan Zhan! I Have killed people! I am a necromancer... a monster.

Lwj: ...

Lwj: Well, that makes you even more attractive.

(jokes on you Lwj is into that shit.)

Wwx tried to think of more reason, but he could think of none.

Finally...

Yllz: Lan Zhan... I-I am shy...

Lwj: ...

Lwj: I'm not.

That night Lan Wangji takes the lead, riding his shy husband's not so shy dick, trying to fuck his shyness away.

~fin~

Just a self indulgent idea with a tinge of humor!

Hope you guys liked it!