~NOTE~
My first fic!!
Characters are definetly OOC.
I watched MHA a long time ago, but this popped into my head.
Thank you for reading.
TW: Panic attack
I have very little knowledge of an actual panic attack so there may be a lot of inaccuracies.
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Shouta has been having nightmares that led into panic attacks ever since the USJ attack. Every time he wakes up in a panic and he immediately searches for his students. He only calms down once Hizashi assures him that the teens are home, safe.
The panic attacks was mostly mild until later, after Kamino. After Kamino it got really bad. Only Hizashi and Recovery Girl knows about them. Shouta carefully hides it from his students because he knows, he knows that if they find out that they would feel guilty. He didn't want that, they already went through enough and didn't need to worry about even more things (like him) .
When the teenagers moved into the dorms, Shouta was happy. His students were close, safe, protected. He's panic attacks lessened, but soon the cons of staying with the teenagers became more and more apparent.
Shouta, being close to them for a long period of time, slowly started developing separation anxiety. He figured it was a by product of getting too attached to the Hell Class.
He could barely stand not being able to see his class for a day, but he knew they couldn't always be with him. Along with this new development, Shouta's nightmares got worse. He always dreamed that he couldn't save them in time, he's always too late.
Soon after the worsening nightmares, his panic attacks that just lessened became even more frequent than before.
Living in the same building as a bunch of highly perceptive heroes-in-training, it was getting harder and harder for Shouta to hide his mental state.
Occasionally one of his class would catch him in the middle of the night after a particularly bad nightmare, checking in on them. Every time they would ask why he was awake, he would shrug it off and blame it on his insomnia.
For the most part they believed him, but a few of the more observant ones, like Midoriya and Bakugou, always squinted their eyes, nodded and walked back to where they came from, not seeming to entirely believe him.
But, hiding his panic attacks would only work so long. Eventually something will happen, something out of his control, and the truth will inevitably be revealed...
But that was a problem for later, because right now it worked.
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It was a bright Monday morning and Shouta woke up with a start, panic attack already beginning, in search of his class. Hizashi, unbothered by the early morning wake-up, immediately took Shouta in his arms. He lightly rocked Shouta from side to side in his lap, used to waking up this way by now and immediately knowing what his husband needs.
The first time this happened was about six months ago and back then Hizashi was at a loss for what to do. Shouta had woken up screaming and searching for his class, so Hizashi had done the only thing he could think of...
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Hizashi woke up to a shout and constant movement from his husband's side of the bed. He sat up with the speed of light and looked around in a panic, wondering why his husband screamed. When he saw no danger he finally calmed down, then he turned his attention to Shouta, only to see the man hyperventilating. He panicked, 'What's happening? Why is Shou shaking so much? What's going on?! '. These thoughts were soon followed by, 'Is it a panic attack, or something else? What can I do to help? Think Hizashi, think! Right, he should breathe! And... and... holding him should help. But does he need someone invading his personal space or...? Oh, fuck it, I need to do something!'
The hero tentatively reached out his hand and placed it on his husband's shoulder, only then realising he seemed to be looking for something.
The erasure hero jerked when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder, and then he heard the soothing albeit confused voice of his husband. He was reassuring him, telling Shouta to breathe and asking what he was searching for.
Shouta didn't understand why he was asking him, he had to get his capture weapon, he had to save his kids!
In a high pitched, panicked voice, that wasn't at all like him, Shouta answered Hizashi's question about what he was searching for, "I need to find my scarf, 'Zashi, I need to save the kids before it's too late!"
After hearing that Hizashi slowly started to understand, his husband must have had a nightmare that directly led into a panic attack, a nightmare Shouta had yet to wake up from. Hizashi caught sight of the time, it was 4:30 in the morning. Seeing the early hour, he figured it was too early to call Recovery Girl. Then he slowly, so as not to scare Shouta, reached out to move his husband into his lap. He gingerly moved him into a tight embrace and started whispering in Shouta's ears again, telling him to breathe and that everything was fine.
A sudden yell in his ears startled Hizashi as Shouta yelled for his kids. "Where is my class Hizashi?! How can everything be fine if the kids are in danger?! Where are they!?!"
The apparent nightmare became clearer to Hizashi: his husband was most likely dreaming of the USJ attack. Now entirely understanding, Hizashi began rocking his husband in his hold, still encouraging him to take deep breaths, but added reassurance that Shouta's class was safe.
"Shou, the children are safe. They are at home with their parents, you will see them in a couple of hours. Now, take a deep breath for me. Breathe in, 1 2 3 4 5, and breathe out. Just like that. They are safe, you don't need to fight."
After about an hour or so of constant reassurances and soft touches, Shouta started calming down and slowly drifted off to a, hopefully, dreamless sleep. Hizashi's throat was parched after the hour of constantly reassuring his husband that everything was fine, he didn't mind though, his husband could finally fall asleep.
Hizashi gently put his husband down in the bed and covered him with the blanket. He slowly stood up as to not wake Shouta from his hard won sleep, grabbed his phone and entered their kitchen. He took out a tall glass from their cabinet and poured himself a glass of water. He quickly checked the time on his phone, noting it was already 6 o'clock, he then dialed Recovery Girl so that she can come to check Shou's condition.
Recovery Girl picked up after about five minutes, sounding even more grumpy than usual with an undertone of tiredness.
"Hello. Someone better be dying, or why else would you be calling me at this ungodly hour on a Wednesday morning?" the tired woman said into the phone.
Hizashi let out a tired chuckle at the older woman and answered with, "Hello. Yeah, sorry about this, but it is worse than someone dying..."
Recovery Girl interrupted him and in a rather angry, yet motherly voice, asked him, "And what could that mean? What did you do this time? And what could be worse than someone dying?"
The voice hero sighed and continued, "I think Shou had a panic attack. I managed to calm him down and get him to sleep again, but I would appreciate if you could check up on him later today?"
Recovery Girl, trying and failing to hide her concern, replied with a serious tone in her voice, "I will check up with him later, but do you know what triggered the panic attack? And how long ago did this happen?"
"I think he had a nightmare about the USJ attack, bacause he kept looking for his capture weapon and his class. The panic attack happened about an hour and a half ago." Hizashi replied with the calmest voice possible, knowing that he will probably get a scolding from the woman for informing him so late. And he was right.
" And why, pray tell, did you inform me so late, Presentation Michael?! " the woman, that has been like a mother to him and some of the other pro's, sounded the angriest he had heard her in a very, very long time.
Needlees to say, Hizashi was scared shitless. It seemed like he was going to need to dig his own grave before class started!
That day Hizashi was given the scolding of his lifetime, and when Shouta found out much later that day, he let out a rare boisterous laugh. Hizashi felt humiliated, but nonetheless glad his husband was in a better condition than in the morning.
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While Hizashi thought about this event, Shouta had slowly started to calm down. He stayed silently in his husband's arms as he was rocking him. He was truly thankful that he had a man like 'Zashi as his husband. Shouta looked up at his husband's face, and immediately knew what the other was thinking about. Shouta smiled, remembering that after that event, his husband worked hard to learn how to handle these panic attacks (and other anxiety related problems) from Shuzenji. He was truly blessed with such a man as his husband.
