｡･ﾟﾟ･Nut up or shut up･ﾟﾟ･｡ (Tallahasse)

Living Like Hollywood

There you guys were, driving into Hollywood. "I think we should find a place to crash." I said. "You've crashed enough, Eunice." Tallahassee joked and I laughed. "I got an idea." Tallahassee said said. He told me and Columbus to grab a map as we pulled up to this place. We got out of the car, zombies immediately ran at us. We each shot a zombie. I grabbed map and jumped back in the car and we sped off when Columbus got in.

"Looks like anyone who has ever been in a movie lives on this block." Columbus said. "What exactly do you think we're doing in the 90210, Sally?" Tallahassee said back. "I pictured Tom cruise living somewhere nicer." Wichita smiled. "B-lister compared to who I have in mind, folks. We're going to the tippy-top of the A-list." "Who?" Wichita and Little Rock asked. "You'll see." I loved Tallahassee's accent. I loved it so much.

We pulled up to a big mansion. "Hey, there's the big BM." Columbus pointed out. "And it ain't Bob Marley." Tallahassee said, very serious. I think I know who it is! I thought to myself. We walked into the house slowly. "This place is incredible." Columbus said.

 "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to la mançion de Murray." Tallahassee said. "Oh, Bill Murray." Columbus said, shocked. "God, no way. This guy has a direct line to my funny bone." Wichita laughed a little. "I knew it!" "Wait, wait, wait, who's Bill Murray?" Little Rock asked. I looked at her shocked. "Hey, I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is." Tallahassee said, very serious. "Who's Gandhi?" Little Rock asked again. "She's 12." Wichita defended her sister. 

We had begun looking in the cabinets for twinkies. "No twinkies." Little Rock said in a teasing voice. "Shit, fuck!" Tallahassee screamed. "See? I told you we should've gone to Russell Crowe's. No one listens to me." Wichita sighs. "Hello, inside voices. Okay? At least until we know we're alone. Hey, Tallahassee, Wichita, Eunice, take that way. Little Rock, come here." Columbus ordered and we went off into separate groups. "Why do I get stuck with her?" Tallahassee complains about Wichita. 

We walked into the bedroom where the king slept. "A king slept here." Tallahassee looks at us before jumping on the bed. "Dibs on the bed." "Too soft for me anyway, Eunice." He started to take off his hat and jacket. "This is pretty catchy." Wichita said. "Come on." He jumped over the couch with his legs in the air. "Help me with the boots, come on." Tallahassee asked me. "Help me with the boots, Eunice. Okay, I'll get them myself." He took his boots off. 

Next thing you know, Wichita is hitting golf balls with a golf club. A ball she hit ricocheted off the wall and hit Tallahassee in the head. "Ah! Are you okay?" A zombie comes from around the corner and goes after Tallahassee. "Bill Murray, you're a zombie?" Tallahassee asked in pure shock, a little sad. Wichita came over and slammed the golf club she was holding into his hip. Bill Murray screamed in pain. "Ow! I'm on fire! Ouch!" "You're not a zombie-- you're talking and you're okay?" Tallahassee said in relief. "The hell I am." Bill Murray said back. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was "you" you." Wichita apologized. 

We had introduced ourselves to Bill Murray, Tallahassee seemed very excited. "So, Columbus is the scared one? Bill asked. "Yeah. He's like a little bunny." Wichita said. "He's not that much of a pussy." I laughed. "I'll get him." Bill said while putting on his wig. "Watch this." Bill walked into his personal theater where Columbus and Little Rock were watching the movies. 

Columbus and Little Rock jumped up. Columbus grabs his double barrel and shoots Bill clean in the chest. "No, no it's okay. I got him."  We looked at Columbus in disbelief. "Is that how you say hello where you come from?" "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can't believe I shot Bill Murray!" Columbus shouts in horror. "Mr. Murray?" Tallahassee spoke softly. "I'm just Bill, I think, now." he looks back at Tallahassee. "Bill?" Tallahassee asks. "Yeah?" "I don't think we're gonna be able to stitch this." Tallahassee says while touching the wound. "Ahh.. That's still tender." Bill sighs. "You think you'll pull through?" I ask. "No." He answered honestly. "If it means anything now, I am so sorry." Columbus said. Bill shook his head. "It was just instinctive. It was my bad. I was never a good practical joker." "So, do you have any regrets?" Little Rock asks. Bill laughed a bit. "Garfield, maybe."

We had played Monopoly that night. "Free parking! Which is the best thing about Zombieland." Wichita said. "No, the best thing about Z-land, no Facebook status updates. You know, "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday." Who cares? Columbus said. "The best thing is no more flushing. Epic." Tallahassee said while eating a beet. 

"And the worst thing about Z-land?" Wichita asked. "You mean other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?" Columbus replied. "That's easy. Losing Buck." Tallahassee said, sadness filled his voice. "That's his puppy." Columbus reassured. "I'm gonna tell you, I never thought I could love anything like Buck. He was just- the day he was born, I just lost my mind." "Sorry." Wichita looked at Tallahassee sadly. "We were two peas. He had my personality, my laugh, my appetite. That's when Tallahassee started crying. "We made this wallet together out of duct tape. He handed me the wallet and tears glossed my eyes. I handed him the wallet back and grabbed his hand.

"I haven't cried like that since Titanic." Wiping his eyes with the money that was on the floor. He had got up and walked away. I got up after him and followed him waving back at everyone.