Unrequited

Chapter-4

I stood in front of the man I dreaded the most and the boy I had fallen for. The moment his eyes found mine my heart froze, it stopped pumping.

However, I could feel it failing to keep its calm soon after, just as it started to pump vigorously. He stood in front of me after 7 years and still had the same effect. I couldn't keep my heart from beating frantically and my body from shaking. He was there in front of me. My inside was on fire and everything around me was blur except him. He was the focus of my vision, my heart, and my soul and that's when it hit me like a lightning strike at that very moment. I missed him…I missed him a lot….. I missed him to my death.

He was the missing piece in my puzzle called life and the moment I saw that face….. the feeling of warmth returned, my cold demeanour melted. The giddiness returned, my stoned persona broke, the pain returned and my inside ached. The feeling of emptiness left me there with him to fill the void I carried with me for the last 7 years…

He still had the same effect on my soul as he had 7 years back and though it was true the realisation was still painful that he still was the only man I had ever fallen for and the realisation only helped the pain of him not being mine to elevate.

His eyes…..

Those grey eyes of his, they were my ocean; an ocean I'd drown myself in… just to see that brightness in them and I saw it….. I saw it when his eyes focused on mine…..

His eyes were on mine, I saw that brightness in them. They bound me with themselves as if a trance was acting over me, the trance of love, pain, giddiness, loneliness and him, and that's when his name which was on my tongue ever since I returned came out of my lips for the first time.

“Kenneth!” It was a mare whisper but I heard all my pain, all my longing, all my love in it. I never knew he still had that effect on me. I never knew he could generate such emotions in me by just smiling ame….. My eyes brightened looking at him, thinking he was there for me…. I felt special but it was only for a mere second before another voice called out for him.

“Kenny!!” It was the voice of the person who betrayed me, who broke me and who hurted me in the most unexpected way ever but it wasn't the voice which hurted me the most instead it was the name she used to call him.

The name she spoke so naturally was once the name only I used to address him. It was the name I gave him when I was just a kid, everyone called him 'ken' but it was only me who called him that and seeing someone else using the same name to address him didn't just tore my heart, it tore my soul- to the extent that it was now beyond repair. I was hurt…. No, I was disappointed that he so easily gave the name only I had the right to call him with….. it tore me up that he didn't try to explain why the name that was only reserved for me was now on someone else's lips….. he never let even his mother use the name but he gave it her so easily…. Like that…..

A bitter chuckle left my lips before I could even comprehend it and I stepped away from the group while looking back at them. I turned around and hastily left them there without knowing where I was headed to and what was going on, but I knew that I didn't want to stay there anymore.

I'm a certified doctor and I knew that heart can't be broken, that fucking thing have no bones for fucks sake but I felt mine breaking. I it shattering into pieces the moment I saw his eyes for her, I felt it's pieces clattering inside my chest as I took my steps away from them, I heard the clanks clearly, it was now broken enough that no glue, no surgical tape, no binder could bring it back to be a single piece.

They broke it so badly that I could not even breathe without feeling the bruises the pieces left in my chest. I hated how I could not even move on from what they did 7 years ago. I felt pathetic for being a pushover, for being a fool.

I rushed away from them, from the pain, from the misery it brought and from myself……