Inlove with a monster.

going back "home"

Merlins pov : 

im wrapped in a blanket, sitting in Gaius' chamber. Arthur walks in and asks me "are you okay? you havent been yourself" i tell him im fine. as he's about to leave i feel the urge to tell him about my feelings 

"Arthur! wait!"

he turns around, facing me. "yeah?"

"i-" i cant get the words out

Arthur just stands there, waiting for me to finish my sentence. but when i don't he just sighs.

"you what merlin?"

i cant tell him. i just cant. "nothing, goodnight sire"

he just nods and leaves me behind in these chambers. This is one of the first nights i dont have to dress the biggest man baby in the world. i get ready for bed and look at the time, the clock reads 02:37 its late. i go to my room and go to sleep

its the next day, im readying the horses, since Arthur and i are going hunting. "nice weather today" i hear a voice from behind me. I turn around to see Arthur smiling. "indeed it is sire." he gets on the horse and so do i. he starts taking the lead. "i feel bad for the animals we are killing" i say out loud and Arthur just keeps riding "its food merlin? we need it."

about 6 hours later its dark so Arthur decided we are staying in the forest at night and returning to camelot in the morning. 

"dont call me a girl just because i feel bad for the animals!"

"you are being a girl, real men dont care"

"well youre a clotpole!"

"shut up"

"are you telling me to shut up? really?!"

"im serious"

he seems concerned and looks into the bushes.

"bandits!"

they come our way and as soon as they do Arthur starts fighting them, i grab my sword and copy him. but then my sword gets thrown out of my hand! shit. Arthur wasnt looking either since he was focused on the other bandits so i decide to use magic. but for some it goes wrong and it pushes every bandit around me and Arthur away. Arthur looks terrified and turns to me.

"merlin you-..you have magic"

" i was born with it! i swear Arthur i- i only use it for you!"

"i dont believe a single word that comes out of your mouth. youre going back to ealdor.. i wont have you executed just promise me that you will never step foot in camelot again" he starts walking to the horses. i have to tell him, now or never..

"but Arthur i love you!"

he looks back but ignores my comment. ouch, that hurt.

i cant go against the kings order, so i just follow him. when we reach the horses we both get on and start riding to ealdor. back 'home'. it takes about 45 minutes when we finally reach Ealdor. 

" merlin. I dont ever want to see you again. dont step foot in camelot or that time i will have you killed. i thought i could trust you but i guess i cant, this is my final goodbye" he tells me in a calm voice but it does sound shakey

i start to tear up

"i will see you again, you have my word! it wont be for a while but expect me.."

Arthur turns his horse and just ignores it as he rides back to camelot. i loved him..i really did..

is this really the end? well of course it isnt, i will, be back.