after nudes in your asshole 👽💔

who's Horace? ♡

       I  scooch over to him, gazing longingly at him, I start to caress his elbows lovingly. He looks at me with disgust and confusion written across his face. " I KNOW you like it" I giggle. He roughly shoves me away. "WHAT THE HELL?!" I fell to the ground in terror as he yelled at me with his suprisingly disgusting oompaloompa sounding voice. " I don't know whats wrong with you kids these days! All over the old man, go solve your daddy issues you whore!" He said. My heart shaterd into a thousand pieces as my pooka wooka butt regected me whole heartedly, ill never recover from this! I stormed out angerly, then runing into this lumpy man who looked my age only he wasnt lumpy hes was just really really really really really really really really really really muscular. His pecs glissend from the blue LED lights from the janitors room, he is extreamly greesey, his shirt was tight and stained from sweat and other mysterious liquids. He also had these really nice skinny jeans, I love a man in skinny jeans, not a single rip in them, he must really love those jeans to be that well taken care of, I thought. They kinda  reminded me of the janitors... oh right the janitor... THAT OBBESE OMPALOOMPA CHEETO GETTING ALL UP IN HIS BEARD TWERP LICKING ASSWHOLE!!! But then again the janitor couldn't compare to this boy his jawline was that of a middle aged man with diabetes, it was so chiseled... NO I ALREADY HAD MY HEART BROKEN ONCE I DONT NEED ANOUTHER PERSON TO OBSESS OVER AND BREAK MY HART AGAIN!!! I said while angerly muttering to myself. I pushed myself away from the boy and  skedaddled  away. 

      I ran through the hallways, passing that helpless fatass turtle still squirming on the floor where I left him. I tripped over him but also landed on him since he's such a fatass. His overly moisturized skin flooded the hallway for miles. I hoisted myself up, but as I took my first step, I slipped and fell on the floor. Whether the cause was Tevor Chad Jr's grease or my tears, we'll never know. I make it outside and the sunlight makes my blue orbs burn and my skin sparkle. Because I'm Bella Swan and my sexy leprachaun turned me into a vampire. He goes feral whenever he sees my meat. But that's not true. Because I'm single. My skin is actually sparkling because of my ADHD. I lather layers upon layers of sparkly red 40 glitter all over my skin while eating Todoroni and cheese before I go to bed. This way, I can shine just like my idol, Edward Cullen. The janitor was my Edward Cullen, but he's gone now. 

   Suddenly, a hot emo kid ran into a fire hydrant in front of me. He must be colorblind because that shit stands out so well against the black and white colorscheme of Ohio. It's okay though, I love colorblind boys. They make me squirm. Anyway, I'm soaking wet now, and not for the reason I was earlier this morning. Instead, it's because the fire hydrant exploded and the water is spewing out faster than the the Todoroki semen was when I harvested it for my mac and cheese. Suddenly, he whips around and looks me in the eyes with those ugly, near sighted, lazy eyed hazel looker outers. I swoon. I had just met the love of my life. 

   "Hey. You want a ride?" He says with his thick sexy Australian accent. His musty my chemical romance shirt and ripped red leather pants release an awful stench that kills every bug within a 20 mile radius. I think I'm in love. I shake myself out of my lovesick stupor and answer him. "Y-Yes- take me home." He motions to his smoking Bloxburg pizza planet moped. We both get on and as soon as my vuloptous ass meets the seat, it broke in half. The emo boy breaks out in sobs and wobbles away, desperatly trying to fix the pieces back together. Standing beside the emotional wreck emo in the middle of the road, I can't help but think, " what the fart?"