A Dementor's Kiss - Phan

April Ghouls

Hogwarts is in chaos, and getting through the day without a trip to the hospital wing is almost unheard of. Dan is first to strike come April Fools' Day, but Phil retaliates mercilessly with all his 6th year magical might. Meanwhile PJ and Chris are locked in a prank battle to the death.

~

It was a day not like other days at Hogwarts. To an outsider, the shift was only subtle. It might take a while to notice it. But when a whole class jumps at the sound of a dropped textbook, the tension becomes all too tangible. It was the way teachers were glancing warily around each corner and mouthing silent spells before entering each classroom. The way students inspected their quills every time they picked them up to write, almost as if they were expecting it to turn into-

"A turkey? Really, Chris? It's not even a turkey feather!"

April Fools' Day was a day in which students and teachers alike feared for their lives.

"We haven't even had breakfast yet and he's already got me four times." PJ said wearily as he and Phil headed down the stairs towards the Great Hall.

"Four? That's impressive. Toby had his bed turned into an inflatable paddling pool, but that's all we've had so far." Phil smirked at the memory.

"Honestly, I forgot what day it was. If I'd known I would have sent Chris back to his own bloody dormitory last night."

A Gryffindor girl pushed past them sporting a large red beak and squawking uncontrollably, and they jumped to the side to make way for what appeared to be a giant, threatening marshmallow bouncing down the stairs and emitting a high pitched wail.

Dan was waiting for them at the foot of the staircase with a mischievous grin on his face, and Phil sighed resignedly.

"Hey, you. Happy April Fools' Day I guess. Are you gonna get me now, or can I digest my breakfast first?"

"We can have breakfast." Dan said cheerfully, tilting his neck to peck Phil on the cheek.

"You guys are going to have to help me," PJ said as they made their way into the usually boisterous but especially cacophonous Great Hall and took their seats. "I need to launch a serious counter attack on Chris, and I haven't given it any thought at all. Totally unprepared for this battle, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go down without a fight."

"Where is he?" Dan asked, buttering a slice of toast that crumbled into fine sand as he tried to put it into his mouth.

"He went off to the Gryffindor common room to set up some big pranks with his pals, because obviously he's involved in that. He said he'll come join us, though."

"Well, that gives us time," Phil said thoughtfully. "Something with a PJ spin. Apparently every good book of hexes has been checked out of the library, and most of the human transfiguration too. We can use our imagination. Madam Pomfrey's drafted in a couple of her retired healer friends in preparation; they've temporarily extended the hospital wing. You can be thankful that Chris is pretty good. You're probably not going to end up with a botched elephant trunk on your forehead like poor Charlie."

To their left, a girl's nose began to grow at an alarming rate and she sighed heavily, creating a small wind storm.

"It needs to be proper revenge. You know how he loves the limelight, I'm thinking something he can't shake off that will ensure he's centre of attention whether he likes it or not." PJ said, stroking his chin. "Maybe a portable rainbow, or a flock of songbirds, I could do that. Oh, Dan, I wouldn't. That's not actually muesli, it's dried insects."