The Cyclist [ChickLit 2013]

The New Race

Rushing to the hospital’s front desk, Ben and Sara’s parents signed in and dashed to the elevator.  Ben pounded the “up” button with his finger, cursing under his breath until the bell dinged and the doors opened. The three of them filed in and the doors, so painfully slow, closed.

“Did they say what’s wrong with her?” Ben inquired, wiping the sweat off his face.

“They said she made one noise and then stopped movement. They thought she went into a coma, but she didn’t. They also said her heart stopped for three seconds, but they were able to start it again,” Mrs. Dawson replied, trying to keep her voice calm and composed, but it was impossible.  She couldn’t mask the shaking fear and anxiety.  None of them could.

When the doors open again, Ben made his way to the room while the parents stayed behind to briefly talk to Sara’s nurse. With his heart pulsing violently and his mind knotting in great worry, Ben could already see Sara lying still in death. The agonizing thought of missing saying ‘good-bye’ gnawed on his mind and ate at his soul. He couldn’t let that moment slip away—he couldn’t let the disease take everything away from him.

Swinging the door to Sara’s room open, Ben stumbled in and saw a nurse checking her temperature. His eyes flew to the heart monitor and he saw, and heard, a steady rhythm. Relieved, Ben collapsed into the nearest chair and recuperated from his panic.  

The nurse leaned down to Sara and said sweetly, “Ben’s here, Sara.” She looked up at Ben and motioned him to take her hand.

Popping up from the chair, Ben went to the bedside and gingerly slipped her hand from the nurse’s into his. His fingers closed over her pale white hand and he squeezed it in affirmation of his presence. Looking at her sweet, but exhausted face, Ben could no longer hold back his emotions. Tears streamed down his cheek, and in broken sobs, he wept. A hand covered his eyes and his back slumped. His dear Sara. His brave Sara. He hated how she was silently suffering a disease that would only take her further away from him.

Smoothing her hair in fond, slow strokes, he managed to speak. “At times like these, I wonder why bad things happen to good people. But, I guess that it’s good people who can handle the bad stuff – and handle it as brave and as beautiful as you have.” Ben stopped to exhale a shuddering sigh. “I don’t know why this happened to you, but I can’t lose the faith. Because it is the greatest gift you’ve ever given to me—you showed me a change I could never ask for myself. You taught me what love is, and you loved me that way, too.”

Sara’s face softened and she mustered up enough strength to give his hand a small squeeze.

“Oh, Sara!” Ben cried out, placing his head on the bed. “I know God’s good. I know He is because He’s never disappointed me. But, why does this hurt so much?” Through his lament, Ben realized something he hadn’t thought about before. Lifting his head slowly and looking at Sara through blurry eyes, he whispered, “He’s not taking you away from me. Instead, it’s a victory. This world poisoned you with this disease, but in return, you’re given everlasting life. The world tried to break you, but instead, you were saved.” Smiling at the hopeful truth, Ben gave her a kiss and crawled onto the bed beside her.

Locking his fingers with hers, he rested his chin in the dip of her neck. Their breaths and heartbeats harmonized. Everything was quiet, except for the clear beat of the monitor. Lying beside her, Ben felt at peace. He knew he wasn’t losing her, but only letting her go to the one Man he could ever trust her with.

Knowing that this was probably the last time he would be with Sara, Ben whispering in ear, “I’m giving your hand to Him now.” Choking back the tears, he said, “I love you, Sara.” He kissed her on the temple and before breaking the kiss, he felt her body rise underneath him, and then, as if she was pushing away her earthly body, she let out a powerful and eager gasp. Her body quieted. The monitor stopped. She was gone.

Wrapping his arms around her, Ben pulled her close and stayed with her. Tears streaked down his face. He was sad, but not bitter. It was as if when Sara left for her new home, she left behind her strength for him. And in a faith stronger than he’d ever experience, Ben knew that when he completed his fulfillment on earth, he would go where she was – and they’d never be separated again. Ever.

EPILOGUE

The entry below was written in Sara’s diary a few weeks after her diagnoses.

Dear Hero, I haven’t written in you for awhile because I’ve been dealing with something really hard. Apparently, I have motor neuron disease, which is a muscle eating disease. They said they can treat it and delay the process, but, they gave me four years. I am frightened. I don’t understand. But I do understand I’ll never race again. To think that I’ll never race, is almost as horrible as death. It’s not the fame I’ll miss – but the freedom. The control of speed.

I’m so scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen, or what I’m going to do, or what people will think. But I mustn’t feel sorry for myself, I can’t give up. I believe my race isn’t finished yet. I still have more races to win, even if they’re not on the track. But the only way I can get through this, is by reminding myself that God will never give me more than I can handle, that He has already healed me from this sickness, and that in Christ, all things are possible. 

- Sara Dawson