CROSSING LINES |18+|✓

Chapter XXXIV

                      ~Crossing The Line~  

       I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to
              When I'm lying close to someone else
            You're stuck in my head and I can't get
                                   you out of it
                         If I could do it all again
                       I know I'd go back to you
                                            •
                                  Selena Gomez

                                        •<>•

After pouring my coffee into the cup, I stroll into the living room to join the girls for a movie. Despite being three months into the second semester, the stress from school keeps escalating. So, it turns out Dad was right all along – it never gets easier; you just learn how to deal with it.

Much like how I've coped with everything that has unfolded recently, including the incident back home in December when I unexpectedly ran into Jordan at a grocery store. As I recounted the events of that day and the awkwardness that lingered between Jordan and me in the days that followed, Key and Autumn erupted into laughter as if my story was some sort of amusing joke.

When Jordan asked to meet up again, I hesitated. I didn't want to give him the wrong impression that there was any possibility of reigniting what we once had. However, expressing this concern without making things more awkward between us seemed challenging. Fortunately, he deciphered my reluctance by reading my expression.

A couple of days later, we spent time together and engaged in a meaningful conversation. I won't deny that there were some awkward moments during our hangout, but Jordan had a knack for turning every uncomfortable second into a lighthearted moment. We chatted for a while, sitting in a booth next to a window, sipping hot coffee while snowflakes fell from the sky like pixie dust.

We reconnected, delving into each other's lives and catching up on the changes that had occurred. I was pleased to learn that he was doing well. Prior to that moment, I never thought I'd see him again without harboring resentment and bitterness. After our breakup, we severed communication and didn't cross paths until last December; and I'm grateful for the opportunity we had to have that conversation.

He sincerely apologized for the pain he caused, and after addressing the issues, the awkwardness between us dissipated. We shared laughter and banter, and not once during that time did I experience any romantic feelings. He felt more like a friend – someone with whom I could share a good laugh and leave with my cheeks hurting from all the merriment.

I'm not one to hold grudges, and no matter how much somebody hurts me, I try not to hold onto that pain for the sake of the peace of my heart. It's not easy, but, life is too short to be holding grudges.

Why spend your life being bitter when you can choose to be happy?

The girls weren't so thrilled about this news but regardless, they were happy that I was happy.

My New Year was wonderfully spent surrounded by family, including uncles, aunts, and cousins. We hosted a lively party, dancing until we were tired out. Welcoming the new year has always been an excitement ingrained in me since childhood. Traditionally, my cousins and I would attend a New Year's Eve fireworks display, having a great time, and often jotting down our New Year's resolutions. However, this year has unfolded differently.

I find myself in a phase of learning profound lessons about life. It's not that I lack plans for the year – I certainly do. Nevertheless, life is unpredictable, and filled with surprises. There have been instances where things didn't go as planned, leading to moments of tears, frustration, and powerlessness. Reflecting on Avery's wisdom, who once told me that some challenging experiences are blessings in disguise, I'm starting to view setbacks from a different perspective.