Lost Cause | A Collection

Everything I wanted

Description: Billie's female baby POV

32 WEEKS 

This place is warm. I enjoy it. I simply float around; it is soothing.

 Hold on- what's going on?I'm being sloshed around in my waters, it's making me move quite a bit, which is unusual. 

It's also becoming very loud. 

The voice which comes from above me, the one that I frequently hear speaking to me is the thing making noise. However, this voice isn't talking. As opposed to speaking. It is smoother and more serene. 

The voice yells, "How are we doing, Atlanta?"It surprised me. The voice above me exclaims again, "Oh ow, I think the little one is excited!" as I flailed my arms and legs around from the startling noise. 

There is still a lot of noise in my ears which makes me afraid. I continue to move around. I stopped moving when I felt something press around me; it was reassuring. I was able to fall back asleep after that since I was now calm the leaping around seemed like rocking. 

36 WEEKS 

I woke up to screaming and yelling. It was the voice above me, and another which I had only heard a few times before. 

"What you have to say doesn't matter to me!" I can hear screaming above me. The other voice adds, "Baby, please. I want to be a part of the kids' life." 

"Don't belittle me; you betrayed me! go get another bitch pregnant!" Says mama. She always addresses herself as "mama" when she speaks. I don't know what a mama is, but I want to since they seem like fun. 

"Fucking hell, leave! You're stressing me out! It's not healthy for the baby!" She screams at the opposing voice. 

"Fine! Be a petty bitch!" I hear a slam when the voice speaks. They frequently use the word "bitch"; I'm curious what one is. 

I experience some shaking for a while before becoming completely still. I then hear the words, "I'm sorry little one, I won't ever allow him near you, mama will keep you safe. "She deserves to know that I hear her. I give the sides a light kick. Mama laughs, "Ow, I can't wait to meet you." 

39 WEEKS 

I was turned upside down, and my water is now sloshed around once more. I can hear a faint hum, which puts me to sleep. I was terrified when my surrounding water started to dissipate. I was hoping for my mother's soothing voice to help me relax, but grunting and groaning took its place. 

I was squirming to gain mama's attention. She complains, "Mom, it doesn't help that the baby is kicking me!" Another recognizable voice adds, "I know, they're just scared." 

Mama gasps in agony, "Well I'm scared too, I just want to see my little baby, I don't want to wait any longer!" Mama huffs, "Can we just go before I can't walk any more my back is killing me," while the other voice tries to console her. "I know Bil, but you'll have them soon I assure you," the other voice replies. 

Still splashing all around me was my small bit of water. Mama boards a vehicle. I'm not exactly sure what it is, although my mama has described it as a car. When I go outside, I'll be able to see; I'm hoping it's warm where Mama is. I like how the car makes my entire body buzz. The walls that surround me occasionally enclose me and pull me lower. I was afraid to go down there, is it gonna hurt? 

My head felt extremely restricted as it is. Mama moved once more, but she quickly sat back down. A strange voice adds, "Okay, we will get you checked soon to see how far along you are." Everything was quiet until I felt a blow to the head.