Lost Cause | A Collection

One + One (Un-Finished)

Description: Non-gendered baby POV of Billie and Drew's journey as new mothers. Highly requested from similar completed book 'Everything I Wanted'

"Billie, are you ready to go home?" the white-coated man asked as he walked into the room. "Oh, more than ready, aren't we, little bear?" a woman, who called herself Mommy, said, cooing at me in her arms.

"Drew, baby, can you change Y/N's diaper? I have to go to the bathroom," she asked the other woman standing in the room, I think she's been referring to herself as Mama. They've been the only ones to hold me the past few days, apart from some nurses in itchy scrubs.

"Of course, here, let me help you up," she spoke gently, taking me out of Mommy's arms and placing me down into the clear, hard-plastic crib. I fussed, rolling my head around. "I'll come tend to you in a minute, bubba," Mama said, her voice sounding further away with each word she said.

I wanted to see what they were doing, but my eyelids were still too heavy for me to open yet.
"Shit," I heard Mommy wince. "Still really sore?" Mama asked empathetically. "Mhm," Mama mumbled in response. I could hear her feet shuffling uncomfortably across the room.
"Okay, now you, Mama's coming, it's alright."

...

"I think I did it too tight," Mommy said nervously, pushing around my chest at the straps she just tightened. "Bee, don't overthink it, look how comfortable Y/N looks," Mama assured.
"I know, but I don't wanna hurt our baby. Too precious and fragile, babies' bones break like twigs, remember," Mommy protested.

Mama sighed, "How many times do we have to go over this? You're going to and are doing an amazing job. You can't keep letting that little voice in your head win, Billie."

The restrictive car seat I had been put in was starting to stress my tiny brain out. Why couldn't I move? Why was I stuck? Little whimpers turned into strained cries. "See, Drew! It was too tight!" Mommy said, quickly unbuckling me and trying to lift me out.

"No, Billie, Y/N's okay, probably just not used to being stuck in something like that," Mama said, calming Mommy down. "Slow down, it's okay. If you panic, you're not gonna think straight and potentially hurt Y/N, so deep breaths," Mama said, quickly stopping Mommy from doing any harm to me.

I felt Mommy's hand on my feet, playing with the loose socks. "I'm sorry, Drew, I don't wanna do anything wrong," Mommy sounded upset. Her voice was a bit croaky, like the first time she held me.

"Don't be sorry, Bee, it's okay. We're new to this, and we're doing the best we can. Don't be so harsh on yourself," Mama said. "Let's just get this little one home."
"And get me a shower."

...

I was placed on Mommy's lap, in the uncomfortable car seat, while she was wheeled out downstairs to the car park. Mommy had her head fully covered up with a dark hood and sunglasses, but she was smiling softly, looking at me, playing with my tiny hands.
The covering of the car seat made it much less bright. I could just barely open my eyes, but it was enough to see what was going on around me. We rolled out of some big automatic doors and into the cold air.

"Bee, do you remember where I parked the car?" Mama asked after the nurse looked at her for directions. "Um," Mommy laughed, "I was kinda in hardcore labor then. I don't remember much."

"Very true. Let me go jog around quickly; I'll find it."Mama's footsteps faded away. The nurse started conversing with Mommy while we waited. "Billie! It's over here, baby!" Mama yelled across the parking lot. The nurse started pushing the wheelchair again.

Once we reached the car, Mama took the car seat I was in off Mommy's lap and placed it onto the leather seat of the slick black car. The smell started making my head feel funny. I fussed around, starting to splutter cries.

Mommy started to panic a little. "Drew, I-I'll sit in the back. I want to be close to Y/N," Mommy said, pushing the nurse's hands back when she tried to help her into the passenger seat. Mama shut the door on my side of the car and walked around to help Mommy.She kept saying how sore she was. I wonder why she was sore.

Mama helped Drew into the backseat beside me. Mommy buckled herself in and rubbed her fingers over my small stomach, trying to get me to calm down, while Mama thanked the nurse and hopped in the front driver's seat.

"We all set, babies?"

As soon as Mama started driving, I lost it. Everything was bothering my small body; it was too much for me to handle.

It was making Mommy stressed out. "Why won't Y/N stop crying?!" she asked flustered and panicked to Mama in the front seat.

"I don't know, Bee, but it's okay. Y/N's probably just overwhelmed with all this new stuff. You gotta give them time to adjust out here; it's kinda scary, huh, Bubba?"

I calmed down a little to Mama's voice. Mommy wiped a tear from her eye and played with the loose ends of my socks that were too big for my tiny feet. "We're nearly home. You're doing really good," Mama praised, taking a left turn.

I wonder what home is.

Anything would probably be better than this loud, fast-moving machine.

"I'm sorry, little bug. Mommy's just scared she's gonna make a mistake. She just doesn't want to hurt you," Mommy whispered to me with a sniffle. After a few more long minutes, the torture stopped, and Mommy unplugged my car seat from the base and brought me onto her lap.

"It's all over now. I want you to stop crying now. Can you do that for me? It's making me sad, little love."

"Baby, can you hand me Y/N's car seat? I'll take it inside and come back to help you. Y/N'll be okay by themselves for a few minutes. You don't have to worry or rush," Mama said. I could hear her footsteps near Mommy's door.

"Are you sure?" Mommy asked. She sounded nervous, like she was biting her lip. "Positive, darling. 100%. Could you hand the car seat over now?" Mama said. Mommy didn't move for a few seconds before my car seat was lifted up and handed to Mama.

She took me away from the scary car and into somewhere sheltered from the breeze. It smelled comforting, and the air was warm against my little cheeks. "Let me go get your mommy. I'll be back soon, Bubba," Mama said, setting me down on the floor. I was left in silence for some more long minutes until I heard laboured breathing and slow, heavy steps into the 'home' as Mama called it before.

"There you go, Bil, okay, sit down there, you did it!" Mama cheered, and there were a few small smacking noises. "As much as I'd love you to kiss my face all over, I want my baby in my arms, please," Mommy's shy voice said. "One tiny love coming right up," Mama joked, and I heard her footsteps coming back over to me.

The tight chest straps were unclipped, and my weak body was swiftly lifted up into a warm embrace and carried over to Mommy.

"Here you go," Mama placed me down in Mommy's arms and kissed the tip of my nose. "Much better now," Mommy said, holding me close.

I was getting used to my new home. I didn't like it at night when I was put down in a crib away from Mommy and Mama, though. I'd much rather be with them, in one of their embraces.It's where I feel safest.

Mommy still walks a bit funny. Mama carries me the most so Mommy can use both of her hands to hold things and keep herself steady when she's walking.

...

Currently, Mommy is in her bed, and I am across the room in my crib, sleeping. Well, not anymore. I think Mama said she was going to go to the store quickly before I fell asleep. It doesn't look like she's back yet.

The room is kind of dark. Maybe Mommy is sleeping too. I looked as far left as I could to see if Mommy was asleep or not, but I couldn't. I gave up trying to look and just looked at the light fixture on the roof above me.

It got boring after a little while, and almost on cue, my small stomach started rumbling, looking for food. I fussed quietly, but no one came to my side, and that frustrated me.

I sucked in a breath before letting out a croaky wail. It must have startled Mommy because she suddenly jumped in my peripheral, causing her to yelp and groan expletive. She grunted as she reached over to the bedside table and fumbled around to grab her phone.

All I could think about was the food I wasn't getting, which kept me crying.

"Drew," Mommy whimpered into the phone. The room was dead silent apart from my wailing, so I could faintly hear Mama's voice on the other line.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked. I could see Mommy starting to cry, "N-no, Y/N started crying, and it scared me, and I think I did something."

"Slow down, Bee. What do you mean you think you did something?" I heard Mama ask. "It hurts," Mommy sniffled. "You hurt yourself? Are you still in bed?" Mama asked. "Mhm," Mommy hummed, biting her lip with her hand in the covers, between her thighs.

"Okay, stay there, I'm on my way. Don't move, and Y/N will be fine. Don't worry."

...

"I'm here, Billie!"Mama's voice was in the front room. I could hear her dropping stuff on the wood floor. Her brisk footsteps made their way to the bedroom we were in. Mama quickly picked up the crying mess of me and into her arms before walking over to Mommy.

"What happened?" Mama asked, looking over Mommy worriedly. "I-I dunno," Mommy shrugged, wiping a tear from her eye with her free hand. "What does it feel like you've done?" Mama asked."The stitches... I think I did something to them."

...

"-Bed rest."

"What? I'm not going on bed rest!"

We were back at the hospital I was born in. Mommy found out she had ripped her stitches open, and they had to sew her torn skin again, which led to an even longer and more painful recovery."Baby, listen to the doctor, he knows what's best for you," Mama told Mommy, but she didn't want to listen. "I'm not a cripple," Mommy mumbled.

"I know, you're not. You just need to heal."
Back at home, Mommy was still not happy about being stuck in bed all day. Mama had to do all the housework while keeping an eye on Mommy so she wouldn't get out of bed.

"Billie O'Connell! Am I hearing your feet on the floor?"

Mommy had sneakily gotten out of bed, but her heavy, slow footsteps gave her away. "...No!" she yelled out of the room. Mama walked back from the laundry to see Mommy upright, leaning against the wall.

"Lying, are we?"

"I just have to pee. I can do it by myself," Mommy said. "No, actually, you can't, and you're not allowed to," Mama said. "Dreww," Mommy whined, knowing she was right.

"I'm sorry, doctor's orders. You've got to actually take his word and do what he says, otherwise, you'll be in this bed even longer if you hurt yourself again," Mama said, coming over to help Mommy into their ensuite. "It wasn't my fault Y/N scared me," she said."I know, but now you understand how easy it is to hurt yourself and reopen your stitches."