Will Never (GeminiFourth)

Chapter 17: hearts feel full

"Is he still not awake son?" Mrs.Tanya asked in a voice laced with worry. The two mothers sat outside as they wait for Gemini to reagin his consciousness.

Fourth had just come out of the room. "No Ma. I think it'll still be long till he wakes up." He tiredly answers. Fourth had stayed up the whole night. Cold sponging and taking temperatures occasionally.

"That's fine. Go get some sleep at home. We'll take care of him." Mrs.Pinkja couldn't help but worry for her son Fourth as well.

He didn't let them come visit Gemini yesterday stating they rest at home. But as they rest at home he took care of things here all alone.

"That's right son. You should go get some rest. We'll see things here." Mr.Intouch patted Fourth's shoulders. He felt worried as Fourth looked nearly sick himself.

The parents all tried convincing Fourth to rest but he did not obey like he always did. He looked horrible with his hair messed up and eyes tired.

But he was afraid to leave. He didn't want to. He wanted to stay by his side. Until he recovered.

Eventually everyone gave up. "Here.Have some food then you can go and rest in the sofa inside. If there's anything we'll wake you up."

Mrs.Tanya understood Fourth's concern and let him sleep in Gemini's cabin instead. A concern equal or greater than their own. She wouldn't stop him.

Fourth lied down in the couch facing the person sleeping soundly in bed. If only he could hear the noise in his heart,will he wake up soon?

Fourth closed his eyes in hopes of dreaming. Dreaming about Gemini.

He had now realized.

The promise that he made to get rid of these feelings,to return to who he was before was all but lies he told himself. To assure himself. To protect himself.

In this moment where both of them are weak,he doesn't have the strength to put up a wall,to put up a facade, to hide away his feelings. And his heart shows him the bitter truth that he had so much tried to compress.

He let out a long sigh.

"This is hard."

Hard for him. What if never looses this feeling? It's in too deep. Will it be good or bad? Will he have to put on a facade forever? Will he have to hurt forever?

Fourth couldn't imagine himself this way forever but he couldn't imagine his love being reciprocated as well.

Gemini? Love him? No. That'll never be possible. To his far fetched knowledge Gemini is a straight man.

He fell in love with a straight man.

A man whose attraction lies to the body of opposite sex. He had known it a long time ago. Action speaks louder than words. Gemini's actions had already told him so. A girl to himself here and there.A man who belongs to womenkind.

As easy it was for Fourth's mind to accept himself being attracted to someone of same sex,it was hard on his heart. If Gemini ever happens finds himself that way will it be easy for him to accept?

Fourth knew it himself all too well. When he realized his feelings for the handsome man. In this world of free love you can accept anything until it concerns yourself. You have to consider and give a clear thought.

It never crossed his mind when he heard of Ford's engagement or his own engagement. The relationship between two men seemed still very realistic to him. A very normal thing in this new world of love.

This world allowed free love.Free roles.Free conditions. A man could love a man. A woman could love a woman. A man could conceive. A woman could impregnate.