Most Pathetic Man Alive

Chapter 1

            My name is Zian Esper Catcher, and I might be one of the most pathetic men alive. I know it all might sound dumb but my downfall really did start with the man of my dreams leaving me. Though it wasn't quite leaving me, since he was never mine.

I was only 23 at the time when he asked me out to come eat. I knew something had to be up because ever since we became adults we couldn't hang out as much. We would normally just hangout at each other's houses and eat pizza but never full on go out. I mean I didn't mind at the beginning. It was kind of like a date, I knew he would never think of it that way though. He didn't know how much I was in love with him. It had to stay that way, he was a straight man and I was a closeted man. He could never know that I was one of those homosexuals, he would hate me. 

It was March 13th, 2014, the day the love of my life, Jonathan, and I, went out for dinner. I met him at a semi fancy restaurant downtown. I was a bit more shocked that he took me to some fancier restaurant. Maybe the news was bigger than I thought. When I walked into the restaurant I saw Jonathan at a table all alone. He really was a sight for the eyes. He had beautiful black hair, a nice body, though it wasn't as noticeable in the outfit he was wearing.

Jonathan turned his head over to me, he had caught me staring. He just laughed and I walked over to the table, with a slightly embarrassed look on my face. "Damn Zian, I was wondering what was taking you so long, but I never expected the waitress to have caught your eye."

Thank the lord, I thought he caught me staring at him, well he did but he had just thought I was staring at the waitress. I laughed all along with him. "Jonathan, you sure as hell caught me looking, you know I can't help myself when it comes to ladies. I mean look at her, she has beautiful long black hair, she seems fit and well damn she does have a nice ass." I said while laughing. Jonathan was just laughing with me.

Jonathan and I had caught up a lot, it was a really nice night. When the waitress came and took our order, Jonathan had got me her number. I knew I didn't need it but it was a really nice thing for him to do. I loved hanging out with Jonathan, he was sweet. Everytime he laughed or smiled, it made me blush a little. Jonathan had the most perfect smile, it was the type of smile that whenever you saw it you couldn't help but smile yourself. I knew I wasn't the only one who thought that, everyone did. He was just such a perfect guy that made everyone the better versions of themselves.

Though when the waitress came back and gave us our meals, Jonathan's smile had left his face. He was shaky with every bite he took out of his steak. I just stared at him while he anxiously was eating his steak. Jonathan then looked back up at me. " So, I know you are probably wondering what the big news is, but I'm going to need to explain myself so please don't get mad or yell at me or interrupt me when I'm trying to explain, okay?" I just nodded at him not knowing what he was going to say.

"Zian, I always knew something was different about me, I ain't really like your average man. When I was a child I didn't know what was wrong with me, it made me hate myself. I couldn't even figure it out, until highschool. Do you remember Teddy Wegners? He was tall and blonde, and he sure as well had a huge ass. Well he was the first man I ever fell for."

No, no, no, no, please don't tell me that Jonathan, my Jonathan is a homosexual. "W-wait, what you trying to get at Jonathan?" I said. I was practically begging for it not to be true. Please don't say that I've been hiding my true feelings all these years just to find out that he can actually be mine.

"Zian, wait please let me finish. I know it's shocking to you but I really can't change this about me. I am who I am, and I love who I love. If you can't accept who I am, then I don't think I could ever talk to you again." Jonathan said while looking over at the wall. His words pierced through me and I knew I would never be able to forget them. I wanted to cry, I didn't know why. This should be good news but knowing that my best friend, the love of my life, has been gay all this time, hurts me. I sighed, though it was a very shaky sigh. " Jonathan Walter Stones, I'll admit this news shocked me but you still are human. The thought of me not even accepting you just for being a homosexual, never crossed my mind. Like you said you are who you are, and it would be wrong for me not to support you."

Jonathan had tears rolling down his face. I never had ever seen Jonathan cry like that, and I'd known him since we were just little babies. Tears kept rolling down his face but he was smiling, that darn most perfect smile. It made me feel all warm inside, it made all that hurting stop. " Oh, damn Zian, you got me crying like a little baby. I'm really happy that you are supportive of me, I knew you would but still that was fuckin scary. I didn't want to lose you."

I just smiled, I wanted to go over and hug him but that would be weird for two guys to do out of nowhere. Plus we were in some fancy restaurant and I didn't want to embarrass myself by getting up for no reason other than some hug. The tears stopped falling off of Jonathan's face and all you could see was his precious smile. I mean you could still tell that he cried but he looked fo fucking happy. I love him, I probably need to admit that to him soon now that I've learned that he was a homosexual, just like me.

" Zian, I know I already shocked you but I have one more thing to admit." I smiled at him. " Well don't keep me waiting, dumbass tell me." I said while we both laughed. " Well Zian, I've actually met a boy. His name is Jaden, he's so pretty, he has long blonde eyelashes and he looks just like a golden retriever puppy. We started dating a couple months back, I had no way of telling you until now."