First Frost (ONC 2023 Novella, MxM Paranormal)

16: First Frost

Snowflakes twinkle in his hair. Glittering crust adorns his eyebrows. Cold drops run over lips with a tint of blue. He is perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect.

Anton licks away a few snowflakes with the tip of his tongue. The gesture does things to my insides that I can't explain. A whirl of heat spreads from the middle and outward, making me immune to the cold.

"You're here," I say as if that wasn't obvious. A snowflake lands on my nose tip. I blow it away in an attempt at nonchalance.

"I'm here," he confirms, stepping through the snow in long strides. His teeth shine white as the snow when he smiles at me. Only at me. Because at this moment, there's only us. The city in all its snowy grandeur seems to exist just for us.

"I looked for you." I still can't quite believe he's here, in front of me. After everything that has happened, the way he smiles at me is the most unreal occurrence.

"I looked for you too," he replies, closing the remaining distance between us. I could touch him but I don't know if I should. I don't want to ruin anything more than I already have. "I went to your apartment when I got here but you weren't there. So I figured I would walk to your sister's place and check with her where you were since my phone had died. But..." Roses of red form on his frostbitten cheeks.

"You got lost," I surmise, knowing exactly how bad Anton is at directions.

"I got lost," he admits with a shrug, looking down into the snow.

The world is frozen in silence. Any move feels like it may break the fragile layer of ice on which we stand. If we fall, it may be a marvelous ride but it could also be a trip ending in disaster.

I don't know where to look. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say.

Luckily, Anton does.

A mitten-clad hand taps the back of mine, asking for something to hold onto. Shy blue eyes meet mine from underneath the knitted edge of a hat.

"So..." he starts, nervous vibration affecting his voice. The words turn into a snort as he falters on what to say.

This time, I'm the one who acts.

I take a step closer, making our fluffy jackets rub together. Tilting my head slightly, I slowly inch closer, giving Anton time to move away if he wants to.

He doesn't. He stays right there. Real, present, and absolutely fucking perfect.

His lips are cold but so are mine. Somehow, we still manage to warm each other. Every slight wave of movement caused ripples of warmth to reverberate through every limb, right out to my fingertips.

Amidst the flurry of kisses, I hold out my hand behind Anton's back to glance at it. The blue lines are gone, erased by the heat of our embrace.

I lower my hand, letting it instead squeeze Anton's hip tightly as we keep kissing.

Every kiss is a snowflake, unique in its unparalleled beauty. With each one, we discover new lands of intimacy. Every hint of cold is swept away, making way for tingling heat.

But one shard of ice still remains in my heart. I can't let it drop into the pool of lava bubbling in my heart until I know.

Parting our lips, I ask, "Sofia?"

Anton sighs, reading the question in my eyes rather than on my lips. "I talked to her because I had to tell her before... we went any further. She deserved to know. And that's when she told me..." the last words are swallowed into a mumble behind the collar of his jacket.

"She told me too," I say explain. "I was there."

"Oh..." His eyes go wide, not realizing the journey I've been on. "So you already know."

I nod, leaning my body against his, and wrap my arms around his bulking frame. To signal that whatever he chooses is alright, I place a kiss on his cheek.

"I obviously have to be there for her," he mumbles. "I'm not the kind of guy to just walk away like that." The words form an icicle along my spine. Of course, I knew Anton can't walk away, he's not that kind of guy, but somehow, I still had hope.

"You have to do what you have to do," I assure him, hugging him even closer. Because I don't know if I will ever feel him so close again. "And I'm sorry if I... ruined things."

I don't regret anything though. These are the marvelous memories that will stay with me when I'm gray and old, frozen in a cottage like my grandfather. Regardless of what happens now, I would not take anything back. Not a single kiss. Not a single mysterious display of ancient powers.

Anton furrows his brows. "You didn't ruin anything, Joakim," he says, his blue gaze steadfastly meeting mine. "You saved us from living a lie. I didn't say I have to be with Sofia. I only said I had to be there for her and the child."

Now it's my time to crease my brow in confusion. "So what are you saying?"

Before I know it, his lips press against mine. "That I want to be with you, silly," he murmurs, his voice intoxicatingly close. "It's what I always wanted. I just couldn't admit it."

In an instant, the last shard of ice in my heart melts into a puddle. Nothing is cold anymore. There is only stinging heat and burning desire. Around us the snow sinks into nothing, obliterated by the radiating warmth. All whirling snowflakes fall into dust as temperate air wavers around us. Birds start to chirp as if spring is near.

The first frost of winter is gone, and all that remains is us.