Chapter 3

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Amarantha was a hateful bitch. She was well aware of what Fire Night represented in the Spring Court and used it to her advantage. Her eyes were glazed from wine and desire as she had her hips pinned against mine. She didn't care if I looked at her or not. We both knew it was Tamlin she'd rather have here, to be his Calanmai reward. She was insistent that everyone knew she was the prize.

The first few times I was summoned by Amarantha to perform .. my duties, I became confused and ashamed of my body's reactions. I knew I didn't fucking want this, but perhaps some piece of me did? The thought would unravel me. On my walks back to my room the bile would rise in my throat but I'd continuously swallow it down. After a while I was able to make the distinction between a body's response and actually wanting it. It was a series of responses and consequence, like so many other bodily functions. Whether Amarantha knew, I didn't care and I don't think she did either. I was another pawn to be used for her own self satisfaction. Years spent under the mountain and under- well, it became simple. Let her have my body's responses, let her have the consequences, but she couldn't, wouldn't, get my mind. So I lay with my gaze to the side, removing my consciousness from the present and allowed myself to roam anywhere but there. And when she had enough and I made my way to my own suite, I let my thoughts wander back to now. And now was drastically different. I had hope, a different kind of longing, one that was half sated but enough to endure. As I fell asleep that night, after my good nights and miss you's, the hopes of their safety, there was one thing that remained as my thoughts slipped away - the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

***

Chaotic was the best word to describe Amarantha's behavior the next few days. Was it possible for someone to have seen me at Fire Night? I didn't think so but, then, what caused this reaction? I was ignored during those few days, thankfully, but it also raised some suspicions. Until I was finally called to the throne room. As usual, she sat atop her throne, her hair more of a mess than usual, eyes wide with fury. I barely landed at the foot of the dias before she spoke.

"You're going to the Spring Court." She spat the words so quickly.

"And for?" I was truly hoping they didn't know about her.

"You're to send a message. To Tamlin." Her eyes blazed with anger. "Give him a reminder about our little deal. And while you're there, do an inspection." My brows furrowed and she went on.

"We know a human girl has been there." Trying to keep my face as neutral as possible, I stared straight ahead and swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

"I'll look into it." I managed to say it casually. I held my breath waiting for more but it didn't come. She returned to her goblet and I took the opportunity to quickly turn and leave. My throat was dry, my hands clenched, I felt a pounding so hard in my chest that I could barely hear. I realized I was still holding my breath but didn't release until I was inside my room.

My mind was a wild mess. How did she fucking know. I ran my fingers through my hair, gripping the ends and pulling in frustration. I had to warn her. I had to do something to get her to leave. And how could I do all of this without my mask faltering, without letting them know about my true intentions. I paced the room, fingers still clenched in my strands. Time was running out. If Amarantha knew a human was in the Spring Court, she might not even wait for me to investigate. With how unruly her behavior has been, she might act impulsively, especially with wine for fuel. Fuck.

***

I landed in the gardens. Exactly where I had for Fire Night. Her scent still swirled in the air, intoxicating. I listened and heard faint hums from the house and marched straight inside. In the doorway I relaxed my pace to seem even and casual. I couldn't let any hint of alarm show. There Tamlin sat at the dining table, picking his nails as if he didn't sense me arriving. Lucien stood by the window and it took all of my effort not to scoff at their useless attempt at hiding her. I couldn't see her but her scent filled the room, it was obviously a glamour. I paused just at the edge opposite Tamlin at the dining table, opening my mouth, not having prepared what I'd say.

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