Family

            Mallory Jackson wiped away a rogue tear as she stood at her mother's grave. The words of Tammy, one of her mothers' oldest friends, were no longer coherent. They were more like white noise in the background. Mallory was an orphan now, both of her mothers were now gone. Denise, the kindest, most pure soul, had lost her battle to depression 4 years prior. Helen, a vibrant force to be reckoned with, lost her battle to cancer. Mallory sucked in a breath and tried to bring herself back to the service. She cleared her throat and re-crossed her legs. Matty, her lifelong best friend, put a hand on her knee.

The condolences of her mother's friends, coworkers, former patients all bombarded Mallory at the end of the service. She knew they all meant well, they loved her mother. Mallory tried to thank each person and listen to the little anecdotes they shared, but she was having difficulty being fully present with each person. She felt an arm go around her shoulders and a familiar voice say something to the crowd before she was pulled to the small family room.

"Hey, kid. Take a minute." Brian guided her to a chair on the other side of the room and sat beside her.

"Thanks, Bri. It was getting a little hard to breathe out there." Mallory let out a humorless laugh.

"If Helen hadn't been such a damn good person, we could've skirted outta here with just a couple of mourners." Brian winked at Mallory, making her laugh for the first time in a week.

"No shit. Do you think anyone would notice if I hid out here?"

Brian sighed, "Unfortunately they'd notice. But, quite frankly, who cares."

Mallory turned and faced Brian, "You know what's crazy? Mama and I talked about this for weeks. We said what we needed to say, we cried, we laughed, we planned. I actually thought that I'd be fine when she died, but the day she took her last breath I felt like my world just imploded and I still had so many things to do and say. I just thought it would be easier than this."

Brian squeezed her shoulder, "That's not crazy, Mal. It makes a lot of sense. Cut yourself a little bit of slack."

"I've gone to grab for my phone to call her or started to drive to her house so many times this week." Malory shook her head and laughed again.

"If it makes you feel any better, I have too. It'll take time to learn to live in a world without her. Just like we had to get used to a world without Denise."

Mallory nodded, "I guess that's true."

Brian stood, "Take all the time you need, Mal. No one expects you to greet and talk to every single person out there, at least they shouldn't. I'll be out there if you need me though, okay?"

Mallory stood and then sat back down, "She always said you were each other's person. How can you be out there with everyone and I can't?"

Brian smiled, "It's different when you're the child. Take your time and don't worry about me." He winked again and walked out of the room.

Mallory sat in silence with her own thoughts. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, it felt like both hours and seconds. She let out a breath, feeling that she did need to go out and stop hiding. She stood as the door creaked open.

"Mal?" Matty entered the room this time.

"Hey, Matty. Sorry, I'm on my way out there."

Matty shut the door, "It's fine. The crowd thinned out. It's mostly just a circle of people telling stories about Mama." Matty and Mallory had grown up together, Matty having lived with Mallory and her moms' off and on for several years. Mallory didn't remember when he'd started referring to them as 'mom' and 'mama', but it had always felt natural and right.