There! [Kokona points]
Right— [Zoom in to Kokona pointing]
—here! [Zoom in more]
Look at that tan, well-tended skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh please, he's gay, totally gay!
[Zoom in to different parts of Itachi's body that match the sentence, ends with Kokona proudly announcing the last verse as Chojo looks at her, unconvinced.]
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate
This guy's not gay, I say, not gay!
[Chojo's part – Kokona is not happy with him disagreeing with her and gives him a deadpan look at the last verse]
That is the elephant in the room [Hojiro & Unagi]
Well, is it relevant to assume [Riku & Daku]
That a man who wears perfume [Shin & Kizana]
Is automatically [Oka & Asu],
radically [Tokuko & Shozo]
fey [Mantaro & Kokuma]?
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks [Iruka]
Look at his silk translucent socks [Supana]
There's the eternal paradox,
Look what we're seeing [Chojo, now serious and wearing glasses]
What are we seeing? [Kokona pops up in the background]
Is he gay... [Chojo]
Of course he's gay! [Kokona, offended]
...or European? [Chojo, adjusting his glasses]
Everyone: Ohhhhhhh...
[Three beats, on which the drama, occult and sports clubs ponder this troubling question...]
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European? [Multiple people talking, and Iruka looks at Tsuruzo]
Well, hey, don't look at me! [Tsuruzo, nervous and obviously sweating and blushing]
You see, they bring their boys up different
In those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts (beat!)
[Kizana takes it upon herself to educate them; as she describes the last part, on the 'beat', the camera quickly pans to Itachi wearing, as said by the leader of the Drama Club, a 'shiny shirt' and 'tiny shorts'. He is very confused as to why they're talking about him]
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks [In these two verses, the clubs still think about it]
They both say things like "ciao bella"
While they kiss you on both cheeks
[This sequence shows Kenko saying 'ciao bella' to Seiyo while kissing both of his cheeks – on the third verse (They both say things like 'ciao bella', the Italian and Japanese flags show up, as Kenko is of Italian-Japanese descent, and on the fourth verse (while they kiss you on both cheeks), as he kisses Seiyo, the MLM gay flag shows up.]
Oh, please! [Kokona]
Gay or European?
So many shades of grey! [The clubs. still not figuring it out. somehow]
Depending on the time of day
The French go either way [Mantaro happily provides, recalling a sequence in which he saw Kuroko flirting with Oka – Kuroko being a French-Japanese lesbian, he is very proud of his find.]
Is he gay or European, or—
There, right there! [Similarly to Kokona, Oka says this, and it zooms in on her just the same, this time with the clubs in the background being confused, since she materializes out of nowhere.]
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro, hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way!
[Oka's verse]
YOU ARE READING
spam book silliness
Fanfictioni have many thoughts and now that's your problem as well hehehohohuhu
