For Me

Chapter 42 - Adeline

"I'm glad you came," I whisper.

These words could never tell her how grateful I was and am. Even before I heard the news of my mum, I thought I had nobody in the hospital. Nobody anywhere, really. Other than my mother. 

If Sage hadn't come, I would've had nobody at all. 

Her arrival was already enough, more than enough. And now all of this. And now we are planning our journey, planning ways to make my dreams come true. Because of her ideas. 

This girl.

"I had to. If I hadn't made it in time..." This girl. A blush rises up my face, my eyes welling with tears. I don't want to cry again. She's seen enough of that. But at least now they are not tears of sadness.  

No. These are tears of joy, of love and compassion and gratitude. I can't help myself. I look up at her, at her big blue eyes, her perfect, beautiful face.

It's rare to find a girl who's beautiful on the inside and out, but here she is. I know it sounds cliche. But damn. I sneak a glance at her lips. I want to kiss her. 

She does not feel the same. She told me so. 

I do not kiss her.

"I would never have forgiven myself. Even though I haven't known you for that long, I... I would probably go insane." 

Thank you. Thank you so much. I would have already died if it weren't for you. You are making me feel alive again. I want to be alive with you forever.

"Well, lucky you found me, then." Okay, that's not what I should have said. But I don't want things to be... awkward. 

Sage looks at me, really looks at me, as if she's probing me, searching me for an answer I don't have. And then she smiles, soft and sweet.

"Lucky indeed." 

And just like that, I feel even better. The sun shines on her face, reappearing from behind a grey cloud as though it had been there all along. 

"Now let's get the heck to the beach. We've got a train to catch." The station is miserable, grey for as far as you can see, but I have high spirits. A smile from her could keep me happy for my lifetime. It will, I suppose. 

Sage buys us our tickets, and we manage to catch the train just as it leaves for Brighton. 3 stops away. 

"Damn, I hope it's not too cold." The thought has only just occurred to me. Suddenly, the beach seems a little less appealing.

"It'll be fine. And if it's freezing, it'll just be more... exciting," she says with a grin. "Don't worry. A bit of cold won't do us any harm." 

We pass the stops, snickering at the announcements for no good reason.

"If you see something that doesn't look right, report it to a member of staff. See it, say it, sorted." 

"More like 'see it, shut it, sorted'," she whispers to me, and I swallow a laugh. Her breath is warm against my ear.

Somehow, the journey flies by, and then we're there. The city has always felt like a second home to me - sure, it's a bit dodgy in areas, but it's just about the most accepting place you can ever go, no matter who you are. Pride flags hang from every other window, and I find myself smiling secretly at each one that we pass. 

We find a small shop and buy the cheapest swimsuits we can, along with some towels that Sage somehow manages to fit into her tote. 

I only realise what we're about to do when I see the sea sparkling up ahead of us.

"She shells seasells- Shit." 

I laugh, salty sea air flooding my senses. I can taste it on my tongue.

We walk down to the promenade, down the steps and onto the pebbles. 

Well.

Dream number 1, here we come.