Divinity

Sane In My Own Way

Earth. The planet is dominated by Homo sapiens and pollution. 8 billion of the dirty mortals killed the ball of dirt with their pleasure toys and plastic bottles. They believed themselves to be superior to anyone or anything else. Their own intellect was their downfall due to a lack of it. Domesticated wolves were thought of as pets. They stored impure H²O in bottles of plastic and traded them for pieces of paper and metal circles. They used paper as a mean of trading for many things. Some humans didn't have enough paper to get them through their short lives. Some had too much. The mere thought of a human with that much power over others made my blood boil and my stomach ache. I believed at the time that there should only be one. And that one should be me.

When I was just seven years of age, my mother was taken from me in a fatal car crash. A four car pile-up spread across several lanes of traffic, rendering the highway the accident was on useless. My mum was on her way home from a large grocery shopping trip and was listening to 80's pop on the car radio. Her attention was drawn to a song she recognised as her favourite, which prevented her from noticing a red Mitsubishi cruising next to her on an adjacent lane. The man next to her car was also enjoying a song and so had no apparent sense of what was on his left. The red car began to swerve and got dangerously close to my mother. The wheels collided, and both the Mitsubishi and mothers car slammed into the sides of the highway. Blood streamed from his mum's forehead as the Mitsubishi owner sat in his car, unconscious. The police arrived with 3 ambulances 30 minutes later, but by then, it was too late. She and the Mitsubishi man had passed on. The news of my mother's death only reached me 6 years after the incident. Father kept it a secret from me and said that she "went for a nice walk." I was 13 when I was informed of my mother's fate. Later on in my life, father found another woman, very similar to mum. My mother had blue eyes and the silkiest brown hair one had ever seen. This lady father grew to love because she had the same features as my mother. Her personality couldn't be any different, however. Mother had the most active body of any lady, and fathers friend was constantly tired and never had the energy to do anything with me or father. We'd go shopping and she would stay on the sofa for the day. She was exhausted at the slightest movement of her flabby body. My former mother was the kindest soul, too. Father's girlfriend was a bitch, excuse my language. She would treat dad as though he was an angel, but me as if I was a weed outside. She would look at me like I was a poo stain on the sole of her shoe. Father didn't know of her behaviour towards me and still hasn't caught on to this day, and I'm 20 years old as of now. It saddens me to know I was not lucky enough to obtain a half-decent family. Perhaps my ideals may not have been as autocratic as they are now. Oh, well.

I was 18 when I began hearing the voices. The men and women that lived inside of my head rent free. The ones that dictated my life choices and decisions from then to even now. I must say thanks, though, as I wouldn't be where I am today if they did not so suddenly appear. I was diagnosed with severe schizophrenia and dementia by the local psychology hospital. I had to be educated in the comfort of home as the other kids at school would either bully me or fear me. I was willing to take my chances for the latter. As is imaginable in my current state of mind. During my learning hours, I would hear something telling me answers that were always wrong. I would believe them. That is until I realised their constant errors. Then, in my leisure time, I would hear another voice advising me, telling me things like "that wouldn't work, you should try this method instead," and other things along those lines. Usually, the advice I was given was entirely valid and often helped me in certain aspects of life. Until they started telling me I was too good for this mortal plain. I was destined for divinity. That most humans were, too, until one life-defining moment that would decide whether or not they were truly destined for true divinity. I am John Dewey, and I am ready.

I was to have mine when my 25th birthday had passed. At the time of writing this, I have yet to receive my moment, and I just can't contain my excitement. Obviously, most humans do not know of such moments and often do not prepare. The voice of which I named William told me how to make use of the little time I have before my ascending to the other worlds. He spoke little of the actual event and more of the mentality required to achieve such nirvana. "You will need the willpower of a hungry lion and stamina of a gazelle escaping such a predator," he said. "The strength of a gorilla and durability of a diamond. You must be able to see the light in any situation and be able to eradicate darkness in order to see such light." True wisdom considering he's a voice in MY head. Breaking the metaphors down to fine print, I began paving a path towards my own self-improvement. I began to see progression in my mind when my mood became calmer and more stoic like that of a Greek.. God.

After hours upon hours of training in mindfulness, I had reached a state of calm and tranquillity in my mind. The men and women I knew became as cool as peppermints and finally gave me a small break. My mother spoke to me clearly for the first time in moons, my job became secured, and my brain stopped aching. Wim Hoff, mindfulness, and the art of stoicism regained my life from the cruel hands of God himself. I could sense the men of whom resided in my brain slowly being crushed into a fine powder that would later be blown away by the wind. Schizophrenia was just a hurdle in my race, however. I was born with many disabilities and disorders I knew I had to overcome if I wanted to achieve divinity. It would be a long journey, but it would be worth the torment and turmoil in the end. I do seem to be rambling a bit now, so I shall tell of the first obstacles of my divine path; conquering fear.