The Last Time- Sebastian Sallow x Reader

19- Restriction

As I wake up, I feel a sense of heaviness in my body. My eyes are puffy and red from crying all night, and my head aches from lack of sleep. I feel a pit in my stomach as the realization sinks in that I am still alone with this terrifying experience. Two days in a row of feeling terrible, this is so pleasant. 

I lay in bed for a few minutes, feeling the weight of the morning pressing down on me. The sun is already shining through the ceiling window, casting a warm glow on the room, but I can't bring myself to feel its warmth. I know I need to face the day, but the thought of getting up and facing my problems seems like too much to bear. My mind is racing with thoughts of the voices, of the restricted section, and of Sebastian. I feel a sense of longing and regret for not being able to confide in him, but also a stubbornness and pride that keeps me from reaching out.

Eventually, I force myself to get out of bed and start my day. As I get dressed, I try to shake off the feeling of exhaustion and sadness that seems to be clinging to me. But no matter how much I try to distract myself, the voices keep creeping back into my mind, haunting me with their indiscernible whispers.

I know that I need to do something about this, but I also feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do.

... 

As the day went on, it felt like a blur. I went through the motions of attending classes, completing assignments, and having meals in the Great Hall, but I wasn't really present. My mind was still preoccupied. I couldn't shake off the feeling of confusion and fear that lingered within me. 

Before I knew it, the sun was beginning to set and I found myself sitting alone in the common room. I sit there, staring out the window to the Black Lake, watching the bubbles rise up from the seafloor and the kelp sway with the tides. 

I feel so frustrated and helpless with the constant whispers in my head. It's like they're taunting me, playing with my mind, and I can't take it anymore. I need to find a way to make this stop, the worrying and the confusion. I need to figure this out, and I need to go to the Restricted Section. There is only one person I know who can help me with this, even though I am frustrated and upset with him right now. No, no. I can't do that. 

I feel angered with feeling helpless against the whispers, but I also feel angered with myself for considering asking Sebastian for help. Part of me thinks that if I go to him now, it might just make things worse between us. Finally, after what feels like hours of internal debate, I make a decision. I can't continue to let the whispers consume my thoughts, and I need to do something about it. I'll swallow my pride and ask Sebastian for help. 

As I reach his dormitory, I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down before knocking on the door. I hear shuffling inside, and then Sebastian opens the door. He's wearing his uniform but without the robe, just his grey suit. When he swings the door open, I can see the surprise in his eyes, but it quickly fades to annoyance.

"What do you want?" he asks curtly. Merlin! Why does he need to be like this? 

I grit my teeth, trying to hold back my frustration. "I need your help," I say through clenched teeth.

Sebastian scoffs, folding his arms. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask for help right now," he says bitterly. 

"No, you're not. You're the only person I can ask for help right now." I tell him, and I can feel my anger rising at his ignorance. 

Sebastian looks at me for a moment, his eyes searching mine. I can see the hesitation in his gaze, but eventually, he nods his head. "Fine," he says. "What is it." 

"I need your help getting into the Restricted Section again." I say, my voice barely above a whisper. Sebastian look to the wall on his right and sighs. He puts his tongue on the inside of his cheek.