𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝙷𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙴𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚢 |𝙰𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌

Chapter 20 - Action Part 2

Mara nodded and stepped to join him, One by one the other cadets followed suit, the sound of ODM gear whirring behind him as they launched themselves off the roof. Jean could've cried in relief. He only half believed that he could do it, that he could lead them to safety, he needed someone else to believe in him too. He needed her to believe in him.

When Jean had asked her to join the MPs he put everything on the line. In asking her to stay he was asking her to let him know that he wasn't the only one feeling this connection. That he wasn't the only one clinging on, as if he were drowning and she was his lifeline. In normal circumstances he wouldn't set himself up for such a harsh rejection but this was Mara, she deserved to hear his heart. That's why it hurt even more.

Jean had left her room in a state, wiping away hot, angry tears before they had a chance to fall down his face. He avoided his dorm but Marco found him anyway.

"Go away, Marco. I want to be alone."

That was a lie of course. But the one person he did want to be with had just pulled out his heart and stomped on it. He wasn't in the mood for one of Marco's pep talks, he'd rather his friend leave.

Instead Marco sat on a bench near Jean and watched him pace.

"Does no one listen to me?" Jean exclaimed.

"We do," Marco answered, "when you're being reasonable."

"Oh, is it so unreasonable to ask someone to take a job somewhere where they will be safe?" Jean mused, sarcastically.

"It depends."

"Depends on what exactly."

"What does this person want?"

"What does it matter what she wants, Marco?" Jean asked, exasperated, "what does it matter when what she wants is going to end up with her dead?"

"I don't think you're listening to her, Jean," Marco said, calmly, "it's not what she wants, it's why she wants it."

"I'd listen if she'd fucking tell me."

"Hasn't she?"

Jean didn't know what to say, so for once, he stayed quiet.

"I know you're hurt, right now-"

"I'm not-"

"But, try to look at things from her point of view."

Despite Marco's attempts Jean still went to sleep angry. After everything she had said, Jean saw no reason that Mara deserved his empathy. He was furious with her, and the Colossal Titan's attack had scared him, making him lash out at everyone else. He had been relieved to see her safe in the Hall but too bitter and proud to go to her. Then when the Titans had begun to run riot across the streets of his hometown, of their hometown, he was mostly just afraid of losing her.

Once he had let go of his anger, Jean could put himself in her shoes. Amongst all the chaos around him, he let himself float in the air and imagine her. A girl, alone on the streets of Trost, with no one and nothing . He could imagine why the only option would seem to be the exit. He could see why her father's choice would push her towards the same path; a martyr's death, one that would matter this time. Jean could understand that after holding on to a goal for so long it would be hard to let it go. And that cutting off the people that made her someone with something was easier than giving up a dream she carried for a father that didn't get to live his.

Jean carved down every Titan in his path knowing he wouldn't let Mara die before she knew that he still cared. Even through every stubborn, headstrong moment he would be there for her. He'd face Death itself to make sure she knew it.