Oneshots | Renfield (2023)

Midnight Hours

  Renfield woke with a terrible start.

  He flew bolt upright in bed, some sort of strangled cry escaping his throat as his mind was reeling, struggling to recognize his own apartment in front of him. After a few moments, his head cleared and he realized it was all just a nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare.

  Renfield pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, letting out a strained and shaky breath. His heart felt like it was going to hammer right out of his chest and he could feel how his hair was pasted to his face with sweat. He knew he was trembling, tried his hardest to keep still, but it was no use.

But it was just a dream, he tried telling himself. He had had his fair share of night terrors over the years, why should this one be any different? It was just a nightmare.

It was just a nightmare, but only months ago, the nightmare had been hauntingly real.

  He dreamt he was back, right back where he had spent nearly a century. In some dark, godforsaken hole with Dracula ever so slowly squeezing the life out of him, invading his mind and manipulating him like a puppet on a string. And how Renfield had played the part of the dutiful servant, truly believing all the lies that were so carefully fed to him. The things he did in service to that monster without question.

  Renfield shook his head, hoping to shake free the gruesome memories with it. He wasn't there anymore, he tried to reassure himself, he would never be there again. Dracula was gone, hopefully for good. There were no more monsters lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike, waiting to take his life from him.

Even so...

Renfield always left a lamp on every night when he went to sleep. It didn't light his whole apartment, but it was enough to help him feel safe. Now, however, the remaining darkness was playing on his fears, making his recent nightmare seem far too tangible. He had to look away, lest he see something slinking through the abyss enveloping the rest of his home.

His heart had just calmed, only to pick up into a fretful rhythm once again. That uncertainty, that ever familiar fear was building, threatening to bubble over into something uncontrollable. Renfield shook his head again, trying to knock things back into some semblance of order, but it only seemed to make things worse.

  He wanted to call Rebecca. She was so strong and Renfield longed to be as strong as her one day. Whenever his nerves grew too frayed, she always seemed to know just what to say to bring him down, despite how unconventional she could be.

  But the telephone was outside the safe confines of his bedroom. Only just, but it seemed miles away. It felt like the darkness had taken hold of him, paralyzing him in his bed, making him easy prey for the creatures of the night.

  Renfield shut his eyes, fighting against his lungs' spasmodic attempts at breathing. He tried to force himself to breathe evenly and deeply as he thought of all the affirmations he learned through his support group.

  He was enough. He was enough. He deserved happiness. He deserved love. He was finally safe and he had full control over his life.

  And right now, he was going to take that control and use it to turn on every light in his apartment at 3am.

  Resolutely opening his eyes, Renfield cautiously got out of bed, concentrating on quelling his incessant shaking as he did. It never really worked in the past, but it gave his mind something to focus on instead of the looming shadows as he made his way towards the lamp closest.

  "I...am enough," he managed to say.

  It came out no louder than a whisper, but it felt good to say it aloud as he switched the lamp on. As more of his bedroom was illuminated, Renfield felt brave enough to try for another one. He moved on to the closet, fumbling for the light switch within.