sunny. {HS au}

Chapter Nine - Life is What Happens While You're Busy Making Other Plans

Florence refused to appear weak. If that meant suppressing all of her emotions to hide them from those around her, then that's what she did. She didn't care if she appeared heartless and hard-faced, she preferred that image to the weaker version of herself. She knew that being irresolute allowed people to take advantage of her. 

She had learnt that people could sniff out sensitivity and would cease the opportunity to walk all over anyone who exuded these behaviours and exploit them until they were a fearful victim with not an ounce of self-worth.

She inhaled softly as Harry lead her back to the car where his driver waited. She focused on her breathing in attempt to calm the ball of anxiety forming in her stomach. She was unsure whether it was being initiated by excitement or fear. She had only consumed a couple of drinks and failed to pluck any Dutch courage from them on this occasion. She almost always relied on alcohol to provide her confidence in these sorts of situations but today nothing was going to ease the nerves.

Harry opened the door for her and waited for her to climb into the car before shutting it behind her and jogging around to the other side. Once he was in the car, Florence's senses were overcome with the scent of his vanilla cologne, and it only fuelled her desire to be close to him. His calming presence countered her angst slightly. She had no idea where they were going but assumed it would be Harry's home. One of them anyway. 

Is he going to fuck me and then never talk to me again? Have his way with me and then never appear at Genevieve's again? Never come in to drink French Martinis and play pool with me again?  Never tease me and feed me drugs in a stuffy bathroom stall again? Why do I get attached to people so damn easily? 

"I hope you're not taking me to an abattoir." She turned to him and smiled before reaching out to trace a finger over his hand, desperate to break the string of rhetorical questions running through her mind. She messed with one of his rings, a silver fidget ring with the word 'peace' carved into the band. She started spinning it around his digit, furrowing her brow as she paid it her utmost attention.

"It's not open this time of night, you're in luck." He laughed, watching her hand move around his. "Do you want to come to mine? We don't have to do anything. It can be like a girly sleepover if you want?" Florence looked up to meet his gaze. She wanted so badly to thank him for being so reassuring and patient, to take him up on the offer of a girly sleepover, to do face masks and paint each others nails.

       But that might expose her weaker side, and she would not let that happen. She had done that one too many times and it always ended up in her being inexplicably hurt and left to pick herself back up afterwards. 

"I'd love to come back to your house Harry." She smirked and moved her hand to place it over his thigh. She felt him stiffen slightly under her touch and it encouraged her, giving her an unfamiliar burst of confidence. Her actions weren't completely for display, she genuinely felt aroused and fancied the pants off him, but she was undeniably amplifying her desires to create a facade. 

To create the impression that she was ballsy and fearless and willing to initiate whatever was about to happen.

She desperately wanted him to believe she was intrepid and dauntless and was more than willing to maintain this false narrative and hold a fabricated cloak over her genuine fearful nature.

She leaned towards him till her lips were almost brushing the shell of his ear. "Can your driver y'know, see or hear us by the way?" She whispered as she edged her hand further up his leg.

"F-fuck Floss. No, he can't." He exhaled, squirming slightly, adjusting his trousers and darting his eyes around the car. She watched as he tried to compose himself under her touch. He is so fucking beautiful.