𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐞 | art

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hihi uh vent so if you want to skip this then go ahead<3
trigger warning for swearing and animal death.

anyways i just realized may fourth was the six month passing of my dog, beanie.

it's already been half a fucking year. wow. i'm already forgetting you, beanie. i'm already forgetting what your barks sounding like, i'm already forgetting the little clicks of your nails on our wooden floors.

i still long for it. for you to be alive. like that day was a fucking dream and i didn't hold your limp body in my arms. like i didn't sob in that bathroom for hours, longing for you to be alive and that no blood had split.

i should've visited you yesterday. said hello. said something. i haven't visited you in so long; i haven't been anywhere near you in so long. i'm so sorry. i hope you get so much fucking sunlight when summer comes; i know you loved it so much.

i just want another day. one more day, just to say goodbye. but we don't get that. your death was so fucking abrupt and i hate it. i hate it so fucking much.

everyone acts like you never existed. like it didn't happen and that you never were here. like that day never happened. no one talks about it. are we all still grieving, i wonder? i wouldn't know. this family of ours always tends to bottle up our emotions, don't we?

oh. look. i'm crying. huh. i thought i got over this stage of grieving. i guess not, haha.

anyways. thank you beanie. i love you and i hope you're doing good, wherever you are. hope you have lots of sunlight and food and actual teeth so you can eat the food without it being mashed up. hope that my love for you was enough.

uh. there'll be more art in future chapters, i just haven't really been feeling motivated to show any of it haha. maybe some oneshots idfk but anyways that's really it bye.