It's hard to swallow your pride in the name of love, but harder to swallow love in the name of pride. And so instead, you let it sit in the back of your throat, choking you slowly, till one day you cough it out.
Odessa stumbled back as she took a left hook to the face, "nf—HAH! caught me off guard with that one, did ya! Pack me a punch, don't go easy on me now", she wiped the sweat off her brow and stood up straighter.
"Who said I was going easy?" Zarya lowered her fists, but still kept her protective stance, eagle-eyeing the Junkers next move.
"You can do better than this, I know you can! v' seen ya on the field, don't you forget? Hard hits for everyone but me? HAH! Don't tell me you're going soft!!" She let out a chuckle and a snort," you've only just reached yer prime!"
Truth be told, Zarya was holding back. And she couldn't help it. She naturally yielded her fighting spirit when the two had a one v. one. Despite how tough Zarya knew Odessa was, she'd still feel worrisome when she did land a strike on the Junker. She knew Odessa wouldn't mind a bit of pain, in fact she; knew that that was what Odessa wanted, but it hurt Zarya' soul more than the Queens body. But in the present, something worried Zarya more. How did the Junkerqueen know she was restraining herself? The butterflies at the pit of her stomach grew.
"I am not soft. And my primes not done with yet, there's much more to come in the future"
"Keep tellin yerfelf that, Cub" Junkerqueen dove forward, tackling Zarya. Due to her train of thought growing off topic, She'd left herself vulnerable to Odessa, meaning the Junker had gained the advantage.
Rolling around the floor, desperately trying to get the upper hand, and failing in the Same breath. Junkerqueen sat on Zarya's back as she struggled lying on her stomach. The Junker was holding one of Zarya's arms back in a firm grip, preventing her from having good movement and sliming her chances of getting up. Zarya's mind a haze, she tapped the floor three times.
Odessa stood up in one swift motion, "ah, it was just getting fun!", brushing her knees off, she offered a hand, in which Zarya declined.
Zarya picked her water bottle up and took a swig, water has never been so nice. She thought back to when the Junker had caught her open. And the buttfiles that ensued.
"Cub?" Zarya questioned. that's what she said, she'd called her a cub.
"Yeah, ya know? The big raccoon-esque things. Hang out in America, your place too" she replied nonchalantly, drinking her water and dabbing the sweat off her skin with a hand towel.
"Yes. I know what a cub is. Why?"
"Well-" she pursed her lips," because you're a tough one, and a bit scary outside yeah? But, get ta know you and then you become all cuddly and nice. As if ya had no fangs!". A big toothy smile was painted proudly across Odessa's face, as if she had come up with a heart throbbing piece of poetry that even Shakespeare would be jealous of. Of course, the butterflies grew greater in number.
Zarya's face was hot, too hot. Red from the work out and the Junkers comment. A flush had caught her. She felt love sick. She'd fallen long and hard for the big brute of a woman, so long that it was hard to be in the same room as her without feeling the loathed ache in her beating chest. But she felt a shame. If she were to spill all this sappy stuff, tell her how much she meant to her and how long she'd been in deep love with here, she felt that her image would shatter. She was brave, bold and tough, too tough. Too tough to love. Zarya felt if she were to drop her act and show her swooning for the woman, the reputation would dismantle. She thinks, Love makes me weak.
"HAY!! Earth to Zarya!" Odessa snapped her fingers in front of Zarya's face, the waved the other, "you in there???"
Blinded by a feeling, Overthinking, leaving yourself in a vulnerable position. Weak.
"Sorry,,,zoned out"
She slapped Zarya hard on the back twice in a friendly manner "no worries! Jus thought I'd lost ya there"
"Yes."
An awkward silence fell upon the two, uncommon for the Junker, and abhorred by the Russian.
"... wanna chillax an watch-a movie in my room with me? Ya calm down and all" Odessa spoke up. She sounded quiet, compared to her usual shouty-ness this sounded as if it were a whisper. It felt sincere. Butterflies.
"Sure"
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Sitting side by side, underneath a cotton blanket in front of a blaring action filled TV screen, Zarya's mind couldn't help but drift astray. How'd she know that Zarya was going easy? Could she see right through her? Does she know? How long has she known? Is she overthinking? Perhaps her attempt in camouflaging her swooning, she had highlighted it further. Perhaps she was weaker than she ought to be thought as.
The sudden halt of explosions and screams from the TV caught Zarya's attention, dragging her out of the cell her brain had forged. Zarya turned her head to face Odessa, who wore a soft look. One that read of concern.
"Ya seem distant, you kay?"
"Yes, I'm fine-"
"Be honest with me"
Soft eyes turned stern. Zarya felt an anxiety scurry up her spine. The butterflies grew restless within her. There was no escape, there was no excuse.
Zarya propped herself up, sitting straight and facing Odessa fully.
"I have something I have to tell you. But I'm afraid it will make me,,, weak."
Junkerqueen sat silently, and nodded her head, as if to say 'go on'.
"I haven't been as focused as I'd like to be recently. I've been overthinking, zoning out, dropping my guard... im in love with you..."
Odessa eyed Zarya, who only avoided her gaze by now staring at the still frame TV.
"I was afraid that if I ever confessed these feelings that,,, my reputation of being this strong hero would fall. What would my country think? I'm big, bold, brave even, and love makes me weak-"
"Love is what makes you strong"
Zarya turned to face the Junker, who had shuffled a bit closer and rested a comforting hand on Zarya's shoulder. Her eyes spilled with apprehension and appreciation. A buzzing connection.
"Makes US strong" she bumped her chest, to amplify strong.
Zarya stared in her face.
"Ya being able to sit here and confess that you like me is very strong. Ya pushed your fear down inside you, to let out your love! You're the bravest woman I know, and will ever know. And I love you to bits for it."
Zarya smiled softly, leaning towards Odessa.
"I love you."
"I love you more"
They pecked eacothers lips, smiling and gazing into one another's eyes. Odessa wrapped an arm around Zarya and pulled the blanket further over the two, flipping the TV back on. They huddled together under the blanket, holding each other closely.
"So, we a thing, or like?" The Junker inquired, eyes fixated to the TV as the action returned.
"I'd like that"
"Me too"
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