reversing the clocks ━ g.hawthorne [edited]

1. victoria's secret.

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I had many secrets. Ones that could very much hurt only myself if I said them out loud. I had once said them out loud, though. In court, nonetheless.

Embarrassing as it is, though, I pushed the memory away. Today was my last day here.

I pulled each button of this burdening hospital-wear out of it's hole and pushed the outfit off my shoulder. I could feel the eyes on me. I was alone in this room, but I wasn't alone in my own mind. I thought I got better. I was convinced I got better. But truly, I only got better at hiding it.

I would still hallucinate at times, and sometimes I would still be brought back into the classroom. I could feel his hand on my shoulder. I could hear him ask me to be quiet. How dare he?

I dressed myself in a simple purple sheath dress. I grabbed my bag stuffed with everything I brought into this psych ward and walked out the door where I met my nurse, Ifa.

"Good morning, Victoria! I guess it seems you're ready to leave this place, huh?"

I smiled at her accurate prediction. "Who wouldn't be?"

"Oh, come on, it was just last week you were saying that here was better than how it is at home."

"True. I'll miss you."

Ifa reached in to take my bag. "Well, as much as I'll miss you, I really hope to not see you here again. This isn't a place I'd want to see you in."

Everything was already sorted when I walked into the hospital's main entrance. I caught a glimpse of the woman who had been there for me through voice calls and once-every-two-weeks visits looking straight at me.

Immediately, I ran toward her. The bag around my left shoulder dropped down to my elbow as I wrapped my arms around my sisters neck.

"Victoria..." she sighed into my neck as she tightened the hug.

"Oh, Vic, I missed you so much." I laughed at the comforting words.

I was the first to break the hug. "You literally saw me face-to-face two weeks ago."

"Yes, well, the last time I saw you, you were a mental hospital patient. Now you're just Victoria. My sister." My smile stretched wider. Oh, how I missed my sister.

Alisa led me to her car which she drove herself. Despite us both having some relations with the Hawthornes, we were brought up humble, as though we were just like everyone else-created by God.

The conversations made on the ride home were familiar and reassuring, just like how it used to be. It's been less than a year since I've been in the ward, but it felt like centuries being away from my sister.

"How'd you manage without me?" I asked.

Alisa kept her eyes on the road. "Hmm? Manage? What does that mean?"

"Oh, y'know..." I replied sheepishly.

I looked over at Alisa. Her realization made me feel a wave of guilt.

"Oh," was all she said.

We both were silent at first, the only sounds being the ones from outside and the soft melody of a female singer on the radio that was kept at a 15% volume. Alisa's grip on the steering wheel couldn't be ignored no matter how hard I tried.