____________CHAPTER 1 _________
All he could see was darkness and nothing more, Nothing else around...Just pure dimness. So, he did really die, didn't he?
He thought the time when he would die, would be when he'd be old, Old enough to die, but it looks like fate has other plans, that he can't do anything about. Not like he's sad or something like that, He didn't really care about life.
He just lived, since he didn't have that much guts in himself to kill himself, He was a coward, A coward who constantly run away from his problems. Growing up being abused and neglected by His own family, just at the age of six.
His mindset was changed, His family...They didn't welcome him, just as much as he didn't welcome them, Just because he was an illegitimate kid, just because he was different, His family had enough of him, as they say...and then they "threw" him to orphanage, that was something he didn't really wish for.
Who even wants a fucked up life like that? Some kids his age considered growing up and having trauma was cool, as if that made you someone mysterious or cool...What were they on? It wasn't rainbows and sunshine.
That orphanage was not any good, It was just as shitty as his family was. it was the same nightmare, the same pain he had to endure all over again, just in a different place, from different people. That fucked up environment was what made him want to throw up.
They all acted like they were angels sent from god, acting all genuine and loving.
Humans are all the same, aren't they? They're Selfish creatures who don't care about anyone else but only themselves... It's the conclusion he came up with, he was the same.
He was just as selfish, he wanted a better life, he wanted to have a new life, a loving life, he didn't care about anything else other than that thought, was that selfish..?
He would get often picked on by older kids, Since everyone knew his backstory. An illegitimate kid, an easy target for them to pick on and make fun of, Just what they all wanted. Disgusting.
That wasn't enough, The caretakers weren't utterly nice either, The worst case that would happen to him was that he would get starved. Starving, that was a pain in the ass, being there was pain in the ass, Living was a pain in the ass.
So he bid farewell to everything, He got up and ran away at the age of sixteen from that Orphanage.
It wasn't easy, He knew it, He knew so well that living like this wouldn't be easy, Though he did rather this option, instead of living there, He didn't regret that choice, he never did. If he were to choose again, he'd do the same choice without even giving it a second thought.
He started to work, It was the only way he could survive, The only way to be able to afford a small apartment so he could live with a roof on...And not in the streets for the rest of his life.
Of course, before he could have enough money to afford just a small apartment to live in, He had to survive on the streets for months, on the cold streets.
His life was pretty shitty, having to put up with unfairness his whole life, having no meaning in his life, Having no reason to continue living but not like he had enough courage to get up and kill himself like that, just as he said... He's a coward.
He didn't know what Love was, how was he gonna know what it was when all he received his whole life was hatred from other people, He didn't believe in love, after all no one showed him enough love and care for him to believe in and know what it was. He lost meaning in everything.
So he just lived like that.
Everyday, the same thing happened, waking up in the morning, getting ready for work then going there, after he was finished, He would come back home so exhausted to the point that he wouldn't even have any strength to do anything at all for himself, He would just eat instant noodles and immediately doze off to sleep like he was dead for the rest of the time until the next day would come.
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